Just Another Excuse To Wear Spandex
by Latvian Ice
Summary: Scott decides to have a party to boost his popularity... with mixed results. Scottcentric, but damn near everyone included. Cowritten with Scrawler.
1. Breasts, Forks, and CATS

AS OF YET UNTITLED  
By Scrawler and LatvianIce  
Rawk.  
  
Scott Summers tried hard to pay attention during anatomy class, but on that day it just seemed near impossible. It was not that he disliked the class or his teacher, Mrs. Wyeth, but rather that his mind refused to concentrate. He glared at the source of his frustration: Duncan Matthews. Handsome, popular, rich, disgusting Duncan Matthews. At the moment, Duncan had Jean Grey whispering secrets into his ear. Duncan noticed that Scott was looking his way and gave him a cheeky thumbs up. Jean looked up, too, blushed slightly and waved. Scott pushed his ruby sunglasses up with his forefinger, then turned around quickly in his seat, embarrassed at making such a geeky gesture, and in front of Jean Grey of all people!  
  
Scott knew just then that it was time for a popularity upgrade. But how? He looked around the room absent-mindedly, searching for inspiration, but then realized that a science classroom probably wouldn't be all too popularity promising.  
  
He then decided that he should be focusing on the popular kids. Duncan came to mind immediately. What made Duncan popular? Duncan was a sports star, but Scott knew that it was too late in the school year to join anything. Duncan had plenty of money and a cool car, too. Scott was sure that his own car was as cool, if not cooler than Duncan's. He wasn't poor by any means, either. Professor Xavier gave him and the other students living at Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters more money than necessary, really. Of course, there was one huge difference between Duncan and himself. Scott was a mutant, with laser-like beams shooting out of his eyes, hence the sunglasses. Duncan was a "normal" human and considered himself superior.  
  
Scott sighed, nearly defeated. Finding a way to become popular was much harder than he thought it would be. Then inspiration hit.  
  
A student had turned all the way around in his seat to talk to Duncan. "Duncan, dude, awesome party Friday night. I'm still hung over!"  
  
A party! The perfect solution! Scott grinned to himself excitedly.  
  
Mrs. Wyeth noticed Scott's gleeful expression with a scowl on her face. "Honestly, Scott Summers, if you weren't mature enough to be in anatomy, then why did you sign up? I'd expect a student of your age to hear the word 'breast' without resorting to such childish behavior!"  
  
As the part of the class who were awake laughed at Scott, he immediately hid any hint of happiness, much less any expression at all, from his face at once.  
  
A short mumble of incomprehensible words were quickly followed by Scott's apology. "Sorry, Mrs. Wyeth, I'll-"  
  
"Control himself next time!" Duncan cut in. "But you've got to cut him some slack, Mrs. W," Duncan's voice grew understanding and tender. Of course, it did this in a mocking sort of way, which left Scott dreading what he would say next. "He really doesn't get out much."  
  
Duncan's friends snickered, his minions giggled and shared high-fives, and the lesser people laughed excessively loud so as to perhaps gain a tiny spec of Duncan's attention and appreciation. Scott, quietly, sunk down into his seat. He couldn't really complain about this one, it was not mutant- related in any way, but was simply regular high school student behavior. The take and ignore sort of thing.  
  
Mrs. Wyeth gave a short chuckle. "Oh, Duncan, you're such a tease!" Scott's left eye twitched dangerously fast with a great repugnance for how well Duncan Mathews had won over the teachers. Not that Mrs. Wyeth disliked Scott in any way, but she liked Duncan better.  
  
Ignoring the desire to spit out his own tongue in disgust, Scott went back to thinking about his party. He was keeping a straight face this time, though, for good measure.  
  
A party had to work. The event would be timely, social, and "kickin" in a mansion. Scott had to fight back a grin because, well, with those components properly distributed, and then some raging teenage hormones sprinkled here and there, the party could not fail!  
  
But what kind of party? The only sort Scott had ever been to were... ah, he couldn't hide it anymore. He'd been to a third grader's birthday party before the plane crash and then a book reader's club party of sorts when he helped out at the old folk's home. Even those weren't the most successful of parties. The third grade party was that of Cindy Bellman's, and she let her dogs chase Scott around the yard for an hour accidentally-on-purpose. And with the elderly, he broke his arm during the "book walk" for a collection of "The Babysitters Club" books. He would have had them too, Scott remembered, clenching his fist, if only Old Man Jenkins hadn't tripped him with his walking cane.  
  
But still... those parties were all Scott had for reference. Oh, and of course Duncan's party, but falling off a balcony wasn't something he was sure the professor was insured for at the institute. It was funny, though, because he obviously should be with so many balconies tactically positioned, just waiting to have place in a lawsuit.  
  
'What good books have I read lately...?' Scott instantly rid that though from his mind. He couldn't have a book reader party! Half the popular kids couldn't read! He needed something everyone would not hate and throw things at him for. That would take some serious logic, Scott figured. Perhaps even some all-nighters with the process of elimination "party style" would be in order.  
  
Looking over and between some heads Scott saw Jean. She always told him to lighten up some- or was it Kurt who did that? Scott dismissed his uncertainty. He was sure that even if Jean didn't tell him to lighten up, she'd be surprised, even somewhat impressed with Scott's decision to have a party. Scott smirked cockily, bobbing his head to what he felt was the motion of success. What he looked like was a bobble head toy looking at Playboys. And, no doubt, Mrs. Wyeth noticed.  
  
"Mr. SUMMERS!"  
  
Luckily, anatomy was Scott's last class of the day. Unluckily, he still had to sit through a half out of detention. Mrs. Wyeth had not been all too pleased to find him disrupting her class for the second in one day, and had given him detention. It wasn't like Scott hadn't been in detention before, so he wasn't too worried about that. The Brotherhood Boys seemed to enjoy getting him into trouble.  
  
Wearily, Scott trudged into A104, the after school detention room, and handed his detention slip to Mr. Eggers, the supervisor of detention. Mr. Eggers' hair held a certain interest in Scott. Not quite an afro, but it had the potential. Many times Scott thought of questioning the man about his choice of hairstyles, but today was certainly not the day. He couldn't risk having time added to his detention sentence.  
  
Scott picked a seat close to the window and was not surprised to see Lance and Pietro enter the room not long after. It seemed to Scott that the two, along with their other Brotherhood buddies, spent more time in detention than class itself. Once they had shown Mr. Eggers their slips, they made their way over to Scott. Lance sat down on one of the desks with his feet on the chair. Pietro took a seat in front of Scott, who pretended not to notice their presence. He was trying to focus on his party, but Pietro was tapping his shoulder quickly, as he did everything quickly. He wanted to get Scott's attention and would not stop until he got it.  
  
When Scott finally looked up, Pietro had a smug look on his face. "Hey, Summers, going to the dark side, are you? Seems like you've been in detention an awful lot this year. And this time without our help even."  
  
Lance cupped his chin in his hands. "Gee, Shades, I don't think the other X-Geeks would like that very much. Without your goody-two-shoes friends, you'll be all alone."  
  
Scott turned so he could face Lance as well as Pietro. "I'm not going bad, so you don't have to worry about that. And anyway, even if the other X- Men weren't my friends anymore, I've still got plenty of people to hang out with."  
  
Pietro and Lance looked at each other from the corners of their eyes, clearly unimpressed.  
  
"In fact," Scott declared, feeling bold, "I'm having a party this weekend. Come if you think you're da shizzle." Scott felt he knew many more cool words than he let on.  
  
Lance raised his eyebrows, but it could hardly be seen through his long hair. "We'll check our calendar." He then turned to Pietro, and they whispered quietly to each other for the final ten minutes of detention.  
  
-X-  
  
Scott breathed a sigh of relief as he got out of his red convertible, finally back at the mansion. He had called Professor X from his cell phone while driving home, and had been given the OK to throw a party that Saturday night. Scott walked through the mansion's hallways, his mind still trying to come up a theme for the party. So far his only idea was to have his guests come dressed as their favorite Babysitters Club members. He himself would be Kristy, the club's powerful leader. Or maybe Mary Anne.  
  
Scott slapped himself in the forehead as he walked into the kitchen. What was he thinking? The Babysitters Club? What kind of lame party would that be? He plopped himself into a chair, not knowing that there was somebody else in the room.  
  
Logan closed the door to the fridge and looked at Scott, one eyebrow raised. "Something wrong, kid?"  
  
Scott looked up, surprised. "Well, kinda. See, I'm throwing this party on Saturday, but I can't think of anything cool to do. Have any ideas?"  
  
"Want me to pick up a couple o' six packs for ya?" Logan was completely serious.  
  
"What? No!" Scott was appalled. "I'm only eighteen!"  
  
Logan shrugged his shoulders. "Haven't been to many high school parties, eh?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, of course," Scott lied. "Tons of them."  
  
"Sure you have," Logan mumbled, his boots clunking on the linoleum tile has he exited the room.  
  
-X-  
  
Jubilee was sitting in the common room, her DVDs spread across the floor around her. She was deep in thought, Scott noticed. "What are you doing?" he asked.  
  
"Organizing the DVD collection," she said without looking up. "Wanna help?" When Scott nodded and sat down beside her, she said, "See, I'm wondering if I should sort them alphabetically, or by genre, or what? What do you think?" Scott didn't answer.  
"Uh, Scott? Something on your mind?" asked the younger mutant.  
  
Scott felt silly telling his problem to such a younger girl, but Jubilee would probably know much more about parties than he. "Yeah, actually, I need a really phat party theme."  
  
Jubilee pretended not to notice that he used the word 'phat'. "How about a movie theme? Look through my DVDs and find something."  
  
Scott was intrigued. He picked up one box after another, until he found something that caught his eye. "Hey, what's this?" He help up a black case with the word 'CATS' written across the top.  
  
Jubilee let out an excided giggle followed by a loving sigh. She gazed sweetly at the DVD long enough for Scott to have considered leaving the two alone. But Jubilee's lips pursed, her eyes narrowed and her fists clenched before Scott could rise to his feet. The unnerving sound of each of her knuckles popping gave Scott the willies.  
  
"You... DON'T know what CATS is...?" the young girl whispered sharply.  
  
Scott looked suspiciously around the room. "Is it a cult?"  
  
Jubilees eyes bulged. She snatched the DVD from Scott and jumped to her feet. Stepping on some of the other DVDs in the collection, she held CATS high in the air.  
  
"CATS," she declared, thrusting the DVD upwards still, as though it was yet to be completely above all others, "is the single greatest musical of all time! It ran for twenty-one years on Broadway- the longest running Broadway hit ever! Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, the songs based on TS Elliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats..." Jubilee kept ranting, her small face growing red, as she was yet to take a breath. Finally slowing down, Jubilee knelt on one knee before Scott, stroking the DVD gently. "CATS," she said with a sigh. "Is truly now and forever."  
  
"Hmm," Scott said and repeated. "Hmm."  
  
"Oh my gosh! Scott! CATS! Your party!" She pulled Scott's face in between her hands, directing his the eyes behind his eyewear to look, as far as Jubilee knew, directly into her own eyes. "You could have a CATS themed party!"  
  
Scott drawled out a long, rather whiney "ehh" of indecision and uncertainty. It was awful rich of him to be putting down one of her ideas, Jubilee figured. If he, even for the slightest moment, planned on organizing the party alone then he should have jumped for joy at Jubilee's suggestion.  
  
"I'm serious Scott, it'd be awesome!" Jubilee persisted, twirling around the room. Her yellow coat, while in mid spin, smacked Scott across the face.  
  
While Scott massaged his cheek, Jubilee hastily piled the other DVDs into random boxes and shoved them in the general direction of the other side of the room. She was obviously finding her previous task less important than her new challenge. She had to help Scott with his party. Without her, he would surely be lost. More importantly than lost, Scott would be even MORE unpopular. Jubilee scoffed, what else was a party in high school held for than to boost popularity?  
  
"Eh... I don't know, Jubilee..." Scott gingerly rubbed the back on his neck. He needed a hip party and Jubilee seemed to be very keen on CATS, but would it work? He'd never heard of the... Scott winced. It was a musical?  
  
Jubilee stood up and put her hands to her hips. She gave Scott a proud smile. "Just stick with me, kid, and I promise you your party will be a hit. Jean will be all over you."  
  
Scott stumbled on his words. "J-Jean-?" He looked up at Jubilee with his mouth slightly agape.  
  
Jubilee grinned rather cheesy-like, but she had to in order to give Scott a little reassurance about her party theme. He was, after all, only a guy and one who had had little party experience at that. "Yeah, man!" She slung her arm over his shoulder and guided him up and out of the common room. "Chicks dig a guy with class."  
  
Scott gave her a worried look. "But this will be a high school party- we have no class."  
  
Jubilee waved nonchalantly. "Of course you don't. But if you did, then think how much it'd show up Duncan Mathews!"  
  
"Do... do you spy on me?"  
  
Jubilee snorted. "Like I'm that petty. I read your diary."  
  
-X-  
  
It was super time and Jubilee conveniently was able to switch table setting duties with Evan so she could talk with Scott, whose turn it also was to set up for dinner. All afternoon she had followed Scott around, popping out of his closet and the shower while he was doing in his business in the bathroom- all these costs to just try and convince him her party theme would be a good one. Scott hadn't much appreciated her following him around so... well. If she had slipped up a couple of times, maybe not stalk him so well that now he didn't know when he was alone or not anymore, and the very thought of someone being near tore at his mind and being. Scott disregarded the well being of his mind because of more important matters.  
  
His party, of course, and where to set the forks. Sadly enough, he always seemed to forget.  
  
Jubilee talked continuously and effortlessly as she helped Scott set the table. "I'm telling you Scott, there's nothing to worry about! Everyone will love it! OH! Besides having the party themed with CATS you could have the video of it playing on the big screen! You know, instead of traditional party pop music and grunge!"  
  
Scott wasn't so sure he liked that idea. Kids were known to go crazy, foam at the mouth and tear apart decorative dollies crazy, when they didn't have their pop and grunge.  
  
"I even got Logan to watch it once," Jubilee started as Logan walked into the kitchen. "And he loved it!"  
  
Scott raised an eyebrow. "Logan? Logan loved CATS?" He cast a wary glance to the gruff instructor with the excessively hairy arms. "Our Logan? That Logan? Loved CATS?!"  
  
Logan growled. "Have a problem with that, Slim?" He growled in a hairy beasty sort of way. "It's a good musical..."  
  
Jubilee hugged Logan's arm. "He likes the Old Gumbie Cat act best!"  
  
"Jubilee's trying to get me to agree to a CATS themed party this weekend and I-" Logan silenced Scott with a glare.  
  
"Slim, just do as she says. Resistance will only delay you so long..." Logan shook his head and headed back out of the kitchen with a solemn look upon his face. He stopped. "By the way, Slim, forks go on the left."  
  
Scott sighed. After he finished replacing the forks he shrugged to Jubilee. "Well... I guess you can tell me what I have to do to for the party..." she nodded, wide eyed and excited, waiting for him to say what she thought he would say. "The CATS themed party..."  
  
Jubilee gave a high-pitched squeal of delight. Ah, the magic of pestering. It really does pay off. "And I'll spread the word."


	2. Cookies, Costumes, and a Fake Plant

Just Another Excuse To Wear Spandex  
Chapter Two: Cookies, Costumes, and a Fake Plant  
By Scrawler and Latvian Ice  
Wah!

Note of the Authors: If you haven't guessed, this is by TWO people: Latvian Ice who hasn't written anything else, and Scrawler, who has written many a good story. Check 'em out.  
  
Disclaimer, which was forgotten in the first chapter: I, Latvian Ice, own neither X-Men, nor CATS. Although I was a girl scout once. I assume that Scrawler also owns nothing, but I cannot speak for her.  
  
================================================================

After a hearty meal of pork chops and applesauce (Scott managed to only drop his fork once), Jubilee dragged Scott by the collar of his shirt into the common room. "I can't believe you've lived eighteen years of your life without seeing CATS! Come on, Scott! We don't have a moment to lose!"  
  
Scott followed obediently and sat on the couch, as Jubilee directed him. He watched her as she took the DVD out of its case and gazed at it dreamily before placing it in the player.  
  
"So... What is this about, exactly?" Scott asked.  
  
Jubilee hurriedly explained during the opening credits. "Okay, so the cats in the Jellicle tribe meet once a year at the Jellicle Ball. This year, their leader, Old Deuteronomy, chooses one cat only to be reborn into a new Jellicle life. Sounds really cool, huh?"  
  
Before Scott could make his uncertain reply, Jubilee shushed him into silence. "It's starting!"  
  
The pair sat in silence from "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats", all the way to "The Ad-Dressing of Cats". Nothing could tear them away from the television. They did not even notice when Evan and Kurt entered the room to throw popcorn at their heads, nor did they stop to listen to Bobby and Sam getting yelled at by Jean for listening in on her mushy phone calls with Duncan.  
  
Two hours after starting the movie, it ended. Jubilee clapped and cheered loudly in appreciation and Scott joined in. "So, what do you think?" she asked. If he said he didn't like it, she'd kill him.  
  
Scott could barely find the words. "It was... amazing! The singing! The dancing! Everything! I can't believe those were people!"  
  
Jubilee smiled as she put the disk back in its case. "I know what you mean. If I could be anyone of the cats, I'd be Rumpelteazer. Who'd you be?"  
  
Scott replied immediately. "Munkustrap, definitely!" He paused a moment to think. "You know who Munkustrap reminds me of?" he asked.  
  
Jubilee looked up. "No, who?"  
  
"Me!"  
  
"You."  
  
"Yeah, I mean, think of it. He's the strong, fearless leader of the tribe, kinda like me with the X-Men."  
  
"Exactly like you," Jubilee replied, but Scott did not catch the sarcasm in her voice. He was about to thank her, but Jubilee suddenly cut him off. "Hey, I've got a great idea!"  
  
"For my party? Great!" Scott decided he was interested in any of Jubilee's ideas, from now on. CATS was the greatest thing that had happened to him since finding his long-lost brother. Or better?  
  
Jubilee shifted excitedly from her seat on the floor near the DVD player. "Okay. How about we make CATS costumes for the guests to wear. We can, like, assign them to be certain cats! I'll be Rumpelteazer, you'll be Munkustrap, and then we'll think about who everyone else should be."  
  
"Yeah, that's great! But are there enough cats in the play for everyone to get a part? Lots of people are coming, you know," Scott said, while still dreamily imagining himself dressed as Munkustrap. All that spandex!  
  
"Hmm, good point," Jubilee said, but then got another idea. "We'll just make random costumes when we run out."  
  
The two were discussing party plans when a third person entered the room. It was the professor. Jubilee and Scott looked up at him. "Hey, Professor!"  
  
"Good evening," the professor responded. "Making party plans?" he asked, even though he knew the answer through telepathy.  
  
The two nodded eagerly and then told him their latest idea. The professor smiled, happy that his children were happy. "I'll be the Rum Tum Tugger."  
  
Scott and Jubilee looked at each other nervously. "Gee," Scott said. "Doesn't Tugger have to be able to dance and stuff? Or walk?"  
  
"I'm going to be the Rum Tum Tugger, damn it."  
  
Scott thought things over a quick moment. All the supplies for the CATS costumes wasn't going to come cheap.  
  
"Professor, you're right!" Scott declared, smiling widely. "Because deep down inside, you're a real Rum Tum Tugger!"  
  
The professor smiled, too, happily. "I am aren't I?" "A real wild thing," Jubilee agreed, sarcastically. Scott have her a quick shove, and made a face. He continued, hoping she'd catch on.  
  
"Like a tiger!"  
  
Jubilee did catch on, and was soon egging on the professor as well. "Go on Professor, roar!"  
  
"Oh, dear me, could I?"  
  
"Go for it!" both Scott and Jubilee urged him. The professor said, "ROAR!" loudly as the two younger mutants dubbed him the Rum Tum Tugger and further continued their plan to get money for the costumes.  
  
Jubilee frowned and turned to Scott with a confused look plastered on her face. "You know Scott, he doesn't really look like the Rum Tum Tugger!"  
  
"Oh, Jubilee, don't be foolish. He just doesn't have a costume!"  
  
Xavier's face brightened. His eyes lit up like those of a child's on Christmas morning. "I get a costume?"  
  
"Everyone gets a costume!"  
  
"We'll even make them!"  
  
Panic flashed across the professor's face. "But... but you don't have any supplies!"  
  
"Gasp! Scott, he's right! We don't! What ever will we dooooooooo-?" Jubilee fell to the floor, whimpering and sniffling in despair. Scott thought she was overdoing it a bit.  
  
The professor, too, looked worried for a moment. Ah, but he was a telepath. He knew exactly what to do. "Students, students! There is a craft store not too far away, and I have thousands of hidden stashes of money all around the mansion!"  
  
Jubilee gave a sniffle and a smile. "You- you do?"  
  
"Of course I do! Now, I suppose you can take what's in that Aztec pottery piece by the door." Scott and Jubilee rushed over to it and spilled out the continents to find what was at least one thousand dollars.  
  
"Wow!" Scott gasped out, running his hands over the money. Jubilee was stuffing some into her pockets and socks. "What's all this money for?"  
  
"What /was/ it for," Jubilee corrected her team leader. "Before it became CATS costume funds!"  
  
"Oh, I use that to buy Girl Scout cookies," the professor said, turning to wheel away back to his study where he had some very important business to take care of. Or not.  
  
Scott blinked, perplexed. "But we never have Girl Scout cookies."  
  
"Well I don't /have/ to share!"  
  
-X-  
  
"Turn right!" Jubilee commanded to Scott, as they made their way home from the craft store. Scott could not see over the large amount of costume supplies they had just purchased. As they entered the mansion, Jubilee shouted again. "Take another right!"  
  
Scott presently crashed into one of the professor's fake plants and yelped in pain.  
  
"Just kidding, Scott," Jubilee said as she laughed at her funny joke. Scott was easy to fool. "I meant left!"  
  
"Jubilee! That's not funny! I'm going to have a bruise!" Scott dropped the supplies and rubbed his sore knee, which only caused Jubilee to laugh harder at him. When she was done, she helped Scott up to his feet again, and they climbed the stairs together to Scott's room, where they would work on their project in peace.  
  
Scott sat cross-legged on his bed, while Jubilee sat on the floor, ready to give Scott more orders. "Since I'm the better seamstress, I'll start the costumes, and you can design the invitation."  
  
Scott wanted to say something to her about calling him a seamstress, but Jubilee was already hard at work on her Rumpelteazer costume. Instead, he rummaged through his bureau drawers, in search of his Crayolas. With a triumphant "Aha!" he began his work on the invitation. He thought long and hard, then finally came up with the perfect invitation. It read: "Come to Scott "Munkustrap" Summers' Party-o-Rama! Be there or be square!" Under the words was a crayon drawing of himself dressed as Munkustrap, along with the date, time, and the address of Xavier's mansion. He presented his creation to Jubilee. "You like?"  
  
Jubilee grinned, though she wasn't too keen on Scott's choice of wording. She decided to let that slide. If she told him to do it over, he'd take another half an hour to do it. "Awesome! Now take it to the professor's office and make a ton of copies so you can stick them in people's lockers at school."  
  
Scott nodded and skipped out of the room towards the office down the hall. He could not help it; he was in such a good mood over his party, which would make him popular, and which in turn would make Jean fall madly in love with him. He was so deeply lost in his own thoughts that he nearly crashed into Kitty Pryde. He stopped immediately, but Kitty phased right through him, sending a shiver down his spine. Being phased through was an odd feeling indeed.  
  
Kitty turned around and apologized, then asked, "What's got you in such a good mood, Skippy?"  
  
Scott presented the invitation for her to read. Kitty smiled nervously, but told her friend that she'd try to make it. "Hey, what about Alex? Is he coming?"  
  
Scott gasped. What a great idea! Alex, for sure, would love CATS, and couldn't allow for things to get dull. "Alex! At my party! Yes!" Scott ran to the phone in the office, leaving Kitty all alone in the hallway. Scott pressed the numbers of Alex's cell phone and copied the invitation while waiting for his little brother to answer. When he did, Scott did not waste time with idle chitchat. "Will you come to my party?" he asked immediately. He gave the date to his brother and waited while Alex shouted to his mother to ask if he could go. Scott crossed his fingers, hoping she would say yes.  
  
Alex's voice came into his ear. "She says it's alright, as long as the Proff doesn't land the jet in our yard again, dude. Last time he crushed her lawn gnomes."  
  
Scott pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! It's a deal, then!"  
  
"Sounds totally cool," Alex said about the party. "What kind of party is it? Does it, like, have a theme or anything?"  
  
Scott smiled to himself. "You'll see..." he said, hoping for Alex to guess, but Alex's mind was already on a different topic.  
  
"Do you like sharks, Scott? 'Cause yesterday I totally went to the aquarium, and there were sharks swimming around in the water and they were, like, this big!" Alex spread his arms out wide, thought Scott could not see. "And, dude, they were all grey and stuff, you know, and..."  
  
Scott hung up.  
  
Standing by the phone a while longer, Scott pondered things as his invitations copied. "I /do/ like sharks!" he realized in a sudden awe. "And they /are/ big and grey! Wow! My brother's so smart." Scott gathered up his invitations while grinning with pride for his brother. Then he frolicked back to his room so to start HIS CATS costume. Which he knew would so totally rock out loud.  
  
-X-  
  
"Guess what Jubilee!" Scott jumped around her, trying to get her attention. Unfortunately for him and his needs, Jubilee was diligently working on a wig. A yarn tail was draped around her shoulders.  
  
"Mhmm," was Jubilee's response.  
  
"I ran into Kitty and told her about the party, and- oooh! Do you think she'd make a good Victoria?" Scott paused to think, but the act was unnecessary. Jubilee handed him a clipboard with a list of everyone from the institute, and a lot of kids from school. Beside each name was a CATS character. "Etcetera" followed by Kitty's name.  
  
"Duh Scott," Scott said to himself, and smacked his forehead. Then to Jubilee, he continued his mindless dribble. "Well, you're smart Jubilee. OH! And Alex is too! Because I called him! And we talked! And then we talked some more! And then he was smart about sharks! And then I hung up!"  
  
"Fascinating!" She did not skip on the sarcasm and mockery when she said that. But mostly it came naturally.  
  
"So! What all have you done?" Scott asked, putting his many invitations on and around a chair in his room.  
  
Jubilee tore a lose thread with her teeth. As much as it amazed Scott, the act also frightened him. "I've done a tail and am starting on my wig. Ooh, Scott, I'm not sure if we'll be done in time!"  
  
Scott gasped. "No!"  
  
"I can't do all this alone!"  
  
For the second time that day, Scott pondered. "But, I'm helping!"  
  
Jubilee gave him a blank stare and sewed more crepe wool onto her wig cap. "Like I said, I can't do this alone."  
  
"Then we should enlist help!" Scott made a 'woosh' motion. "To me, my X- Men!"  
  
"Thaaaaaaaats... not going to work." Jubilee carefully set down her tail and placed her wig on her foamy human head thing. "But you are right, Scott, we need some more help!"  
  
"Hmmm... maybe Jean?" then Scott jumped and gasped. "NO! This has to be a surprise to Jean! Or else it won't be spontaneous and partially out of character!"  
  
"Too right you are!" Jubilee looked down the list of name she had on her clipboard. "We need someone who can keep a secret."  
  
-X-  
  
Jubilee waved and smiled as Amanda Sefton answered the knock at her door. "Hi Amanda!"  
  
Amanda, though somewhat surprised to see Scott and Jubilee at her house covered in little fuzzies of yarn, welcomed the two X-Men into her home.  
  
"Amanda..." Jubilee started, very seriously. "Have you ever seen-?"  
  
Amanda burst into tears. "Kurt's breaking up with me, isn't he?! I /promise/ I won't try and take chunks of his fur anymore just because it's blue and blue is my favorite color and though it's sort of a weird fetish I promise I'll get over it because I really am really sorry!"  
  
Jubilee quickly comforted the girl, making it certain that they were not bringing bad news. Meanwhile, Scott gave a low whistle. "Wow. That was a really long run on sentence!"  
  
"Amanda, have you ever seen CATS?" Jubilee asked, her eyes daring the girl to say something rude about the musical.  
  
Luckily, Jubilee didn't have to pull out the big guns. Amanda exploded with glee and giddiness at the mere mention of the musical. "CATS? Oh I love CATS! I've seen it live three times! And of course, I have the DVD!"  
  
Jubilee smiled broadly. "Well, it's easy to see why Kurt likes you so much, then!"  
  
"Oh, Kurt likes it, too! We watch it a lot together... and then when Gus's part comes on we make out." Amanda smiled and nodded vigorously.  
  
"Well, that's good!" Scott declared. "Now, let me tell you our proposition!" He glanced around suspiciously, not wanting the super secret party that just everyone at the institute knew to get out... any more than it was. "I'm having..."  
  
"Yes...?" Amanda urged him to continue, quite curious.  
  
"I'm having a..."  
  
"Yes...?" Ooh, the suspense!  
  
"A CATS themed party!" Jubilee cut in. "Will you help us Amanda? We don't want everyone to know but I can't do this alone!"  
  
"But, Scott's helping... oh, right! He's Scott."  
  
Scott's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Um, yes, I am."  
  
Amanda gave a jaunty thrust on the balls of her feet to stand tall and mimic Scott in super-hero pose. "Of course I'll help! Are you making costumes?"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Oh this will be so much fun!"  
  
"Indeed!"  
  
And the chatter lasted until Amanda gathered permission from her parents to go help organize a good party and then followed Jubilee and Scott to Scott's car. Luckily, the backseat was present. Sometimes it's not.


	3. Invitations, Pirates, and Cat Food

Just Another Excuse To Wear Spandex

Chapter Three: Invitations, Pirates, and Cat Food

"The Chapter of Infinite References"

By Scrawler and LatvianIce

LI's note: Wanna hear a funny story? I had one of Scrawler's parts of this chapter in my inbox for over a month! So, yeah, it's a little late. Sorry? Also! I dub this "Chapter of Infinite References". There are references to: Big Wolf on Campus (2 of 'em!), The Darkness, Rocker Power, 1970's rocker Neil Young, my hometown and state, Austin Powers, and Meow Mix. Can you find all of them? (Your prize is the satisfaction of a job well done.) And one more quick thing: To the reviewer who asked if we were BSC fans, the answer is yes! Abby is my favorite, while Scrawler likes Kristy.

-X-

Scott whistled CATS songs as he applied butter to his toast. He knew it would be a great day, because today he was going to hand out his party invitations. Everything was going great. Jubilee and Amanda had already finished half the costumes. Scott insisted on helping them, but they always declined. They said he would be too much of a bother.

It didn't matter anyway, since he had the special job of handing out invitations. He could just see the looks of excitement from the other kids' faces. They would most surely be impressed.

-X-

Before school started, he took a handful of invitations and slipped them in the Brotherhood House's mailbox. He then thought that perhaps they didn't check their mail, and inserted a few more in the front door. Satisfied, he drove off to school.

Scott grabbed a roll of tape from his backpack, and began taping up posters on the walls of the hallway, one about every five feet. He then began folding them up and stuffing them through the slits in his fellow students' lockers. The act of doing so was much harder than it appeared. "Come On! Get in, get in the hole!" he grumbled, as the papers just didn't seem to want to fit. After shouting, "Get in there, you!" the paper finally decided it wanted to listen, and slipped in easily. A few students were staring at him.

-X-

Scott sighed as he walked down the crowded halls of Bayville High School. He had just come out of anatomy class. He had tried to be good, he really had, but Mrs. Wyeth always seemed to be looking at him at the wrong times. Scott's cheeks blushed scarlet, remembering that today they had talked about the male anatomy- now everyone seemed to have the wrong idea about him.

As Scott opened his locker, her remembered again why he was so happy during class. His party invitations were lying in a neat stack on his locker shelf. Suddenly and without warning, Scott's locker slammed itself shut, and he wondered momentarily if it was haunted. Then Tabitha's face came into view.

"Whatcha got there, Scott?" she asked, grabbing the papers out of his hands and not waiting for an answer. She looked down at the invitations. "That's cute, real cute," she said airily, not really meaning it. "So, am I invited or what?"

Scott fidgeted nervously. He hadn't really planned on inviting her; she was bound to be far too rowdy. Tabitha moved closer to him, and closer still, until she was close enough to touch him. "What's wrong with me?" she asked smoothly, while running her finger gently across his cheek. "Aren't I good enough for you?" She paused and pulled away. "Or am I not your type?" She had a glint of mischief in her eyes.

Scott looked at her suspiciously. "What do you mean, not my type? What have you heard?"

Tabitha smirked, amused. "Oh, nothing really. Just that you're a flaming gay."

Scott was nettled. How had she found out so quickly? He had just gotten out of class five minutes ago! "Tabitha, I don't know what you've heard, but I'm not-"

Tabitha put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "Come on, Scott, it's the new millennium! No one cares- watch." And before he could do anything to stop her, Tabitha was shouting down the hallway. "Hey, everyone, Scott's finally come out of the closet!"

The hallway's inhabitants clapped loudly, and Scott heard a few whistles, an "It's about time!" and even a "Call me!" in a male's voice.

Scott balled his fists up in frustration. "I AM NOT GAY!"

-X-

The day had ended with more and more shouts of "Call me!" from, as far as

Scott could tell, several boys in his athletics class. Scott never knew he was so popular.

"But now I shall /earn/ my popularity!" Scott said to himself as he managed to be first outside of the school. He held in his hands yet more of his invitations, and was planning to check to make sure everyone had at least one before they left school that day.

"Do you have your invitation? A show of invitations, please!" Scott ordered as crowds of students spilled out of Bayville High. "You have four? Good! You... no, /you/ keep the invitations and come and... oh, that's your phone number? For me? Er, thanks Brad."

Finally the crowds of teenagers started thinning, and Scott was out of a day's stock of invitations anyway. He couldn't believe how many people were so excited about his party! Many kids were laughing then pointing at their invitations and then at Scott. Scott knew they'd be pleased.

Skipping back to his car Scott found Kurt, Evan, Kitty, and Rogue waiting for him there.

"What took you, man?" Evan asked with a frown.

Scott had to retain a long and joyous explanation. He wanted his party to be a surprise for his friends! Even if Kitty already knew, he figured she'd still be surprised.

"Uh..." Scott knew he needed a believable excuse because his friends were sharp. "There was a big wolf... on campus..."

After a small pause the other mutants nodded and shrugged. "Well, alright."

Scott gave a sigh of relief and started the car. Driving home, the leader of the X-Men was suspiciously quiet.

"So, was it a really big, uh, big wolf?" Kurt asked, trying to make conversation.

"What are you all doing Saturday?" Scott asked quickly, ignoring Kurt's question completely.

Evan was first to comply. "I'm going to bust some mad moves and go all out on the pipe and rail!" He then started to play air guitar with his skateboard.

"Ah'm going to sulk and be angry about mah powers," said Rogue. "And then maybe go to the zoo."

"Er, homework?" Kurt shrugged. He just wasn't in the cleverest of moods.

All eyes fell on Kitty. "Uh, I guess I'll try to make Scott's party..." she supplied weakly, only to receive a glare form Scott. "Like, what?"

"That was a surprise, Kitty!" Scott took his eyes off the road to glare further at Kitty. It was very irresponsible of him.

"Like, as if I knew!"

"Scott's party?" the other three mutants asked. "We knew about that since lunch!"

Scott frowned, confused. "You... you mean you got invitations?"

"Yeah!" Kurt held his up for Scott to see. "Nice drawing!" He gave Scott a friendly thumbs up. "Oddly enough, I must complement the color scheme! Triad, right on!"

Scott chewed his lower lip in confusion and sadness. "It was supposed to be a big surprise for everyone at the Institute! Jubilee and I thought of it..."

"Scott," drawled Rogue. "If ya didn't want us to know, then why did you put invitations in our lockers?"

Scott thought for a moment and then a look of sheer panic broke out across his face. "E-gads! That means there are four people out there who might /not/ have invitations! Guys, we need to return to school and-"

That idea earned Scott a chorus of "NO!"s.

Scott whimpered. "But... but...."

"You can, like, give out more invitations tomorrow, 'kay? Until then, we'll all pretend we don't know about your party, so it'll still be a surprise. Right, guys?" Kitty nodded to her fellow mutants.

"I've forgotten already!" Evan said with a hearty "Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeneneneneeee!" electric guitar impersonation on his skateboard.

Scott, satisfied, finally returned his eyes to the road and all of Bayville was spared death-by-Scott once again. Not that he'd ever been a purpose danger to his home, but just that he liked to think he had the power to be so. Which he did, so he was happy.

-X-

"Scott! Scott, wait up!"

It was Thursday, just two days away from Scott's party and Scott was walking down the hall to his locker after school. Scott turned around and saw Paul panting behind him. "Sorry, Paul, didn't hear you."

Paul caught up quickly. He waved Scott's party invitation in his face. "How come you never told me about this party?"

Scott felt bad for not telling his very best friend in the whole world about his party secrets. "Well, you know... I wanted to keep it a secret."

Paul seemed to find this a satisfactory answer and said, "So, you got a theme yet? 'Cause check this out!" He pulled out a hat, eye patch, and plastic parrot out of his locker. "We can be pirates! Arrrr!"

Scott whipped out an invitation of his own, and it was his turn to wave it in Paul's face. "Of course I've got a theme! What do you think I'm wearing that for?" He pointed to the picture of him he'd drawn.

"That's you?"

"Of course that's me!"

"And you're dressed as... a lemur?"

Scott slapped his right hand to his forehead. "No, I'm a cat, stupid!" he said, exasperated. It was times like these that he wondered why he was friends with Paul in the first place.

Paul looked at the picture a minute, studying it closely. "Yeah, I guess I can see it," he said, though it didn't sound as if he really meant it. "So, we're dressed as cats..."

"Oh, but not just any cats! These cats are special." Scott felt he could tell Paul a little more about his party than the other students at Bayville High. After all, Paul was his best friend.

Paul was mildly intrigued. "Special? How?"

But of course, Scott couldn't tell him too much information. "You'll see. But come on, I'm meeting Kurt and Evan at the Gut Bomb."

"Sure," Paul replied. He stuffed his books in his locker, and Scott did the same. They started walking to the doors.

"Paul."

"Yeah?"

"Take off that stupid pirate costume."

"No."

"At least the parrot then? Please?"

"No! Justin Parrotins will not leave! And I'm the captain, so what I say goes! Arrr..."

"No, really. Do it. You're embarrassing me."

"Mutiny! You shall walk the plank for that, you scurvy dog!"

"Shut up, Paul."

-X-

Kurt and Evan were patiently waiting for Scott to meet them at the Gut Bomb. He said there was a secret he had to tell them. Then Scott had promised them some burgers, his treat, so they happily obliged.

Currently, the two were sitting opposite each other, having a staring contest.

"Dude," Evan said after he'd lost... again. Kurt hadn't blinked in eight minutes. "You're sick, man. You need to blink!"

"Haha!" Kurt laughed, sitting back in his seat. "Joke's on you!" He leaned foreword and started to whisper. "You can't see me blink through my hologram!"

Evan sat back and frowned in deep thought. "No... No I've seen you blink before."

"Nope! My eyes can flutter-"

"Don't say flutter."

"-And look all tired and partially blink-"

"You look really stoned when you're tired," Evan put in, quite informatively.

"-and they can widen in fear. But no complete blinking!" Behind his hologram, Kurt blinked. "Ha! See, I blinked!"

Evan didn't say on word. He simply stared and wondered why he'd wasted those eight minutes of his life in a staring contest with someone who he couldn't see if they blinked.

"Ha! I didn't it again! Blink!"

Kurt continued to blink and Evan continued to not see him do so until Scott arrived with Paul in tow.

They arranged seats, as Scott was very particular. Scott sat to the left of Paul but the right of Evan, which was so because Evan is left handed. Paul didn't sit /directly/ across from Evan, but more at an angle. Though there was no one between them. Evan didn't like sitting by Paul. Evan thought he was weird. No one sat by Kurt. He was too blue and too fuzzy for any human contact at the moment. But Kurt had come to terms with it nonetheless.

"Gentleman of the triangle..." Scott started, rather dramatically. "And Kurt." Kurt waved. "Do you know why I have assembled you all here today?"

"Burgers!" Evan and Kurt whooped together.

Paul shrugged. "Uh, burgers? Fries, too, maybe?"

Kurt nodded. "And a soda!"

Evan made a face. "No man, it's called pop!"

"It is in South Dakota!" Paul said excitedly. He had a wide range of knowledge for northern, square-ish states. First he lived in Ohio, then he moved to Idaho, then back to Ohio because they had to save the farm. And other potato-y states, too. For a change, and because his mother was a big Wizard of Oz fanatic, they moved to South Dakota! And then Wyoming. Sad, sad, Wyoming. And then to the happy city of Bayville for no reason whatsoever!

"South Dakota" sounded so rock-and-tree like to Evan. He had to justify this statement. "Yeah, in the HOOD of SD!"

Paul slowly turned his head to him, frowning darkly, his face both illuminated and shadowed in a demonic light that appeared out of nowhere. "There IS no hood in South Dakota," he said sharply.

Scott coughed. "Uh, right. Now, there will be burgers and fries and.... refreshing beverages... just as soon as you all hear me out on my secret!"

His friends all shrugged.

"Alright. You all know vaguely about my party on Saturday night, right?"

"Right," chorused Scott's three friends who were eager to eat.

"Well. I've told Paul it was a cat themed party," Scott pulled out his invitation. "Because that's me!" He smiled excitedly. "I'm a cat!" Scott then gave somewhat of a glare to Paul. "And NOT a lemur."

Evan and Kurt snickered. "Lemur" and "Not" and "Paul's in a pirate costume! Hehe! Look at him!" were all distinctively heard from the two.

"Arrr," said Paul, totally cheesed off.

"Now I'll tell you /all/ about the party." Scott leaned forward. "It's a CATS themed party!"

Paul tapped his shoulder. "Uh, Scott, you told us that!"

"No, I said "cats" then; I'm saying 'CATS' now! As in... now it's in capital letters."

"CATS!" Kurt exclaimed. "Cool!"

"CATS!" Evan mimicked with false enthusiasm. "Weak!"

Paul stroked his parrot. A CATS themed party? Paul never knew Scott liked CATS! How dare he keep his party theme from him when Paul himself had /seen/ CATS! Scott had some explainin' in to do!

Paul crossed his arms moodily, suddenly not as hungry as he had been a few minutes ago. It was just like Scott to keep his secret to himself. Just like he had with his mutant powers. Instead of being honest with his friend, Scott had lied to him. And that was the reason that Paul had been angry. Not because he disliked mutants, but because he had been lied to. Of course, they had eventually made up and had each put their 'best friends forever' bracelets back on, but Paul couldn't help but feel that Scott had taken advantage of him. Again.

Evan was the first to notice Paul's quietness. "What's up, man? You look kinda sick. Food poisoning?" He took a large bite from his hamburger.

Paul did not answer the question, but instead turned to Scott. "You suck."

"Eh?" Scott asked, choking on his pop. Soda. Whatever. Why would Paul say such a thing?

"You suck," Paul repeated.

"Why?" Scott asked, feelings hurt.

"What, you don't know?" Paul stood up and walked toward the door. "I'm out of here! Jeez!"

"Wait!" Kurt called after him. "Paul!"

Paul stopped at the entrance, one hand on the door. At least Kurt seemed to care about his feelings. Scott certainly didn't.

"Can I finish your burger?"

-X-

Scott trudged wearily up the steps of the Xavier Institute entrance. He hadn't felt so bad since the world's discovery of mutants. Paul was mad at him and he didn't even know why! Maybe he didn't like CATS, Scott pondered as he opened the door. But that couldn't be right, could it? Everyone in the world likes-

Scott's thoughts were interrupted by someone jumping to his shoulders and making him fall hard onto the ground. The stranger still did not let go, and Scott was certain he was being mugged.

"Scott!" The voice sounded very familiar. It took a few seconds to register. The voice belonged to his own brother, Alex Masters.

Finally, Alex let go and allowed Scott to pull himself to his feet again. "Alex, you're early! What are you doing here?" he asked excitedly. Suddenly, his situation with Paul was pushed to the back of his mind.

"I decided to come early," Alex said with a shrug. "I thought you might want some help decorating and stuff, man."

"Decorating! An excellent idea!" exclaimed Scott. "Let's go get the others to help us!"

Half an hour later, Scott and Alex had gathered up Kurt, Evan, and the New Recruits (minus one Jubilee, who was still busy working on costumes with Amanda) in the common room. Scott stood importantly before them, his arms behind his back. "I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you all here this evening," Scott began, but his speech was interrupted.

"Yo, Alex is here!" shouted Evan, moving forward. He held out his hand, and instead of shaking it, Alex wiggled his fingers, shouting, "Woogity, woogity, woogity!"

"Eh?" asked Kurt from the couch. "I don't get it."

Before Alex could explain himself, Scott cut it. "Never mind, that's not what we're here for."

"What _are_ we here for?" asked Jamie, the youngest of the mutants.

"I was just going to tell you, if you'd let me explain." Scott took a breath. "Now, you probably didn't know this, but I'm having a party here on Saturday." Again, he was interrupted, this time by Amara.

"We already knew that! Kitty told us."

Bobby nodded. "A CATS theme or something stupid like that."

"It's not stupid!" Scott said, trying to regain his role as leader in the room.

"Will there be cake? With icing?" Roberto smiled to himself. "I like icing. As long as there's cake and icing, I don't care what the theme is!"

Scott had an idea. "Nope, no icing," he said as Roberto's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "That is, unless you guys shut up and do what I tell you."

While Scott was talking, there had been soft murmuring of conversations throughout the room. Roberto put his fingers to his mouth and let out an ear-splitting whistle. The room became deadly silent. "Let the man speak!"

Scott beamed. "Thank you, Roberto. Now, as I was saying, I'm having a CATS party here on Saturday night, and, being that it's already Thursday, I'll need your help decorating."

-X-

Scott, Alex, Evan, Kurt, and the New Recruits finally got to work. After a few hours of cutting out paper cats, Alex and Evan became bored. Jubilee and Amanda had left out a box of costume supplies and the boys decided to take a look inside.

"What are these?" Alex asked, holding up something made of orange yarn.

Evan had found a headband with cat ears and put it on his head. He looked closely at what Alex had in his hands. "Dude! A tail!"

"Really?" Alex asked. "Ooh, I can totally attach it to my belt!" he said as he did so. He held another tail out to Evan. "Put one on, dude."

Evan took it from Alex and handed his friend another headband. They were very pleased with their new look. Unfortunately, Scott was not.

"What do you two think you're doing?" Scott nearly shouted. "We are men are work! We've got a job to do!"

"Hey! There are girls here, too, you know!" Amara shouted from across the room.

"Yeah!" said Sam.

Alex and Evan took their costumes off. "No wonder Paul hates him," muttered Evan.

"Yeah," agreed Alex. "He's no fun."

-X-  
  
Scott had his friends and long lost brother working hard decorating for the party. He would regularly check up on Jubilee and Amanda to see how the costumes were coming along, and they would shoo him out. Also regularly. After sending Kurt and Evan out to buy the snacks (those listed on Scott's eight sticky notes ONLY) Scott finally had some time to talk with his brother. Talk while decorating, cleaning, and breaking in his tail, that is. Scott was ever the multitasker.  
  
"Yo, DictatorBro, where do you want these... fish and mouse streamers?" Alex held up the streamers and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Just put them on that table to your left, Alex, we need to talk," said Scott. Alex was surprised.  
  
"Dude, stop working so we can bond? Neat!"  
  
Scott laughed, and slapped his knee. "Oho, simmer down there. Work will still be done. You can talk and dust at the same time, right?"  
  
Alex gave a thumbs up to his brother. He smiled weakly as he forced his next words out through his teeth. "Sure can, bro. You know that from the last time we talked... and dusted."  
  
"Tubular." Scott smiled, trying on some of his brother's "Surfer Dude" talk on for himself. He felt that the only way to be closer as brothers was to invade personal space and act out in uncharacteristic manners. He felt the method was working and the two's relationship was improving, too!  
  
"Where do you keep those dusters again?!"  
  
-X-  
  
Scott and Alex had a nice talk. By nice that is Scott dusted more than he talked, and what he said was how he was frustrated about Paul. Alex was confused. He knew of Paul, everyone knew /of/ Paul, but didn't quite understand the situation. Why was Paul dressed as a pirate, again?  
  
Eventually Scott asked about Alex's life in Hawaii and how "up" the surf was. Then Scott asked about sharks which Alex was very happy to talk about.  
  
"Not only are they /big/ and /grey/ but they've got a TON of teeth, too!"  
  
"Teeth that bite?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Wow."  
  
After Alex mimicked a shark eating a surfer for Scott, the two washed up for dinner.  
  
As the two made their way into the dining room, Scott inspected the job done that day: cleaning and the decorations.  
  
"Maybe I should just tidy up the living room again... a dozen Jamies still didn't do the best job...."  
  
"Scottie," Alex warned, pulling his brother towards the kitchen. "Don't."  
  
Scott looked pleadingly at his brother, at least, as pleadingly as he could look without the eyes which always give the most "Please I'm sad gimmie what I want" effect anyway. But Alex stood firm. "Fine," Scott said, but immediately brightened as they entered the kitchen. "Is that the party snacks I smell?"  
  
Kitty Pyrde, clad in grease-stained apron and cleaning gloves turned to Scott and frowned very, very angrily. She had a lot more little twitchy "rage wrinkles" than the last time Alex had seen her.  
  
"Summers! Okay, first, I was flattered you wanted me to cook for your party. Then I thought you were being cheap. Then I got bored. NOW I'm angry. You wanna know why?! You've got me cooking..." Kitty made a face and shrieked. "I don't even KNOW what this is! Chicken and liver and... ugh! The recipe sounds like you got it off of the back of a bag of cat food!"  
  
Alex grimaced as he saw Scott blush. Maybe he had.  
  
Kitty tore off her gloves and apron. "I am like SO out of here. I'll come to you're party, but you better not serve anything like this!"  
  
"But Kitty...!" Scott called after her. "I AM cheap!"  
  
Scott sighed. "I guess I'll just have to order pizza as the main dish." A smile twitched onto his lips. "Dish! Cats eat out of dishes! Hey I should write that down!"  
  
Alex helped Scott clean up Kitty's mess (the two had a good laugh about that one, too. "Cats make messes! You know, because sometimes they miss their target in the litter box!") and finally as the X-Men and New Recruits started seating themselves in the kitchen did they start their diner.  
  
Xavier sat at the head of the table not because he was supreme leader of the X-Men, but because his chunky wheelchair couldn't fit anywhere else so he had to sit isolated.  
  
"You young people sure did a bang up job," Xavier said with a smile. "How are the costumes coming along?"  
  
Jubilee looked up from her plate of fried chicken. "We're cutting it close," she said, giving a tired smile to Amanda who had stayed for diner. She and Kurt were playing footsy under the table. "We finished all the kitten costumes and most of the toms, too. Old Deuteronomy is giving us a little trouble- so is Demeter. Amanda and I made... I think, fourteen extra tails today? Yeah, fourteen. And we bought arm warmers off E-bay that should come in tonight."  
  
Xavier blinked. "I meant how my costume was coming along."  
  
"Oh. Uh, done." Jubilee shrugged. "Amanda finished the mane this morning."  
  
"Yippie!" the good professor whooped, and then collected himself. "Alright, now that that's settled I have no further business here. Good day."  
  
Scott volunteered to do the dishes and since Alex couldn't get away fast enough, he too volunteered.  
  
"I'm glad you came, Alex." Scott smiled as he handed his brother a plate to dry. "You're a good dryer."  
  
"I'm glad I came too. I'm glad I got away from the sharks."

Scott slowly washed the next dish. He wanted his brother to have come all this way to come to his party or, at least, to see him. Getting away from sharks seemed trifle when compared to Scott's life or death by popularity party tomorrow night. He felt he'd been messing things up lately, not just with Paul but with his party, too. Was he really ready for it? What if no one came?  
  
Pshaw, of course everyone would come. He gave out invitations and you can't beat that.


	4. Huffery Snuffery, ARR!, and Paul's Mom

Just Another Excuse To Wear Spandex

By Scrawler (who just had a birthday on Wednesday! WEDNESDAY!! Tell her you love her and give her presents) and Latvian Ice (whose birthday isn't until March, but will accept any gifts in advance.)

Chapter Four: Huffery Snuffery, ARR!, and Paul's Mom

---

It was late at night, but Scott couldn't get to sleep. He was in his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to make turn the cracks into pictures. Unfortunately, he wasn't very creative. All he could see were cracks.

But his lack of creativity wasn't what was bothering him. Somehow, after he had settled into bed and closed his eyes, the memory of Paul's actions at Gut Bomb had crept forward from the back of his mind.

Paul was angry with him and he had no idea why. Things had been going so well... He had hurt Paul before and vowed to never do it again. In a few short months, Scott had already broken his promise.

But that night, Scott made a new promise. Whatever it took, he would show Paul that he truly was a good friend, and that it would never happen again!

-X-

Scott yawned as he poured himself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. He hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep. He was so tired that he didn't even remember to look for the plastic dinosaur at the bottom of the box.

Amanda walked in the kitchen, yawning loudly as well.

"What are you doing here?" asked Scott, swirling the colored flakes around with his spoon.

Amanda sighed and half fell into a chair at the table. "I spent the night-"

"On a school night?!"

"-to help Jubilee with the costumes. We were up half the night, but they're almost done! After school today, I think we'll finish." She smiled tiredly at Scott, waiting for a thank you.

Scott was silent.

"Oh, no, Scott, don't thank me."

Scott lifted his head. "Sorry, Amanda. I really appreciate your help, but... Paul's mad at me, and I don't know why. He won't tell me."

"Well!" said Amanda, sounding perkier than before. "Not only am I a fabulous costume designer, I am also an amazing counselor. Pour your heart out to me, Scott. Tell me what happened."

"Gee, I dunno... I guess he got mad me after I told the guys that it was a CATS party. I thought maybe he doesn't like CATS or something..."

"Of course that's not true! Everybody loves CATS. Even freaks like Paul."

"He's not a freak!" Scott cried. "He's just... sorta... different."

"Yeah, whatever," Amanda replied. "You're sure you have absolutely no idea why Paul would be mad?"

"Positive."

Amanda rested her head in the palms of her hands. "Then you must show him that you didn't mean to hurt his feelings. Show him that you want to start over. Give him a present or something."

"Like what?"

"He's your friend, you should know this!" Amanda was quickly losing her patience with Scott. "What does he like?"

Scott thought for a moment. "Pirates. He likes pirates. He wanted to dress as a pirate for the party."

"Aha! There you have it!" Amanda said as she slapped the table with her hand.

"What? What do I have?"

"Let Paul be a pirate!"

Scott frowned. "But CATS..."

"Of course, he'll still be a cat, stupid," Amanda said, a little annoyed. "But he'll be Growltiger. The costume I made should fit him pretty well."

Scott jumped up from the table quickly, sending his chair backwards. "You are a genius, Amanda!"

Amanda shrugged. "Tell me something I don't know."

-X-

Moving to the beat of the original Broadway recording of CATS playing in a large, New York Street style boom box he stole from Evan, Scott paraded down the halls of Bayville High.

He sang the songs and handed out even more invitations, which Evan had edited earlier that morning to make them seem more desirable. Scott didn't know what Evan meant by, "Your invitations are lame," and "don't you dare touch my New York Street style boom box!" so he just handed out the invitations and blasted the CATS music without a care.

He slipped a few scratchy record sounds in between verses.

"The magical! -boo mpachoo boo boo- The marvelous! –wiccie wiccie waa- Mr. Mistoffelees! Reechie ree mmpchu!"

All the while Scott thought to himself, "I'm cool, I'm cool."

"Party tomorrow night!" Scott said, doing a move he learned in the tap dance segment of P.E. to add some pizzazz to the handing out of his godly invites. "Par-TAY tomorrow night! Be there of be a huffery snuffery Pollicle dog!"

"Huffery snuffery!" some kid said, pocketing his invitation. "I could go for some of that!"

"Huffery snuffery," scoffed some older kid wearing a huge overcoat and holding a candy cigarette in his mouth. "Just keep it off my turf."

"Turf, right on! Come to my party!" Scott smiled widely and continued to jam to the mad styling of Mr. Mistoffelees and the Jellicle cats.

"Are you all coming to my party?" Scott asked a group of zealous young people stationed in front of his locker.

A girl with her hair falling over her face and tie-dye headband and paper bag purse crinkling at the side of her recycled blue jeans turned around to him and glared. "We're not coming to _any_ party, you freak!"

Scott's answer was automatic. "I'm a human _being_!"

The girl and her squad of tie-dye, sandal scuffing environmentalists scoffed. "Like, what kind of human skins and wears lemurs as full... ?!

"Yeah, dude!"

"Yeah!"

"Save the whales!"

Scott looked confused. "I did no such things! In fact, I'm allergic to lemurs!"

"Then how do you explain this!" The leader pulled out one of Scott's invitations and threw it in his face. "That's cold evidence right there."

Scott looked at the invitations only but a moment. "GRR! You crazy people, I'm not wearing a lemur, I'm dressed up as Munkustrap! GOSH!" He was ready to storm off angrily. People just didn't understand.

"Oh..." The squad seemed to have lost their day's plans of going to the rainforest and protecting the lemurs. Or, going to the geography room and finding out if lemurs lived in the rainforest or ...Chicago.

"Oh is right!" Scott said, flustered.

"Can we come to your party, then?"

Scott brightened, all lemur slayer thoughts gone in a puff of huffery snuffery. "Of course you can!"

"Yay! The lemurs are safe once again!"

With that, Scott jammed on over to the office to make a special announcement about his party on the school intercom. Three consecutive years of being class treasurer did have its perks. The office ladies just LOVED him.

Scott stopped at the office doors and looked around. It was nearly noon; Paul should be going to the office to take his medication any time now. Scott decided he had to be swift and the best thing for both friends would be if Scott didn't see Paul until the party.

Scott entered the office with a greeting of, "Hey my office homegurls!" and throughout his twenty-minute announcement he felt he was _so_ close to his party. His watch beeped every ten minutes and he kept a countdown in his Scooby-Doo day planner.

"In conclusion," he announced to the school. "Come to my, Scott "Munkustrap"

Summers' party-O-Rama! Everyone's invited, especially my good friend Paul." Scott leaned in very close to the microphone and whispered, "Don't ask questions, Paul, just come." Though the whisper method was pretty ineffective, he felt the dramatic breathing helped a little. There was a pause as Scott started to walk away and out of the office. Then a shuffle! A crash of a pencil sharpener falling off a desk! Shoes skidding! Papers

being misfiled- all chaos as Scott added, "Extra invitations will be in the office! Take two!"

-X-

Paul had heard Scott's noon announcement yesterday. He had also heard Scott's special message, the one that was specifically for Paul. Was Scott apologizing? Did Scott deserve to be forgiven?

It was four o'clock on Saturday, just three short hours until Scott's party. Paul was sitting on his bed, looking into the depths of his stuffed Toto's eyes. But, of course, he didn't call his dog Toto; he called him Tinker.

Paul held Tinker at eye level. "Oh, Tinker, what should I do? Sure, Scott was the only one to be my friend after I moved here and we've had a lot of good times. Remember that one time when we went camping at Blue Dog Lake, and how we hit a deer on the way over? And how it started storming that night? You were there, of course you remember."

Tinker's black button eyes did not blink and Paul continued to talk. "But you remember how he didn't tell me about his power! And how he'd lie about why I could never come over. 'Rogue might be spreading the bubonic plague, so it's best that we don't have visitors,' he said that one time. Liar! And now! Now with this whole party thing! Jeez! He has totally broken an important rule in the Best Friends Forever Code!" Paul exhaled sharply. "Maybe it should just be the two of us. Maybe Scott can just rot in hell."

Paul drew his knees up to his chest, hugged them, and sat in a pouty silence until the sound of a car door shutting brought him out of this state. His mother was home! She would know exactly what to do!

"Mom!" cried Paul, dashing into the kitchen to greet him mother as she entered their home. Paul's mother, in a baggy sweatshirt and torn acid-washed jeans, hugged her son. "You will never guess what I'm trying to do!" she exclaimed.

"Does it have something to do with The Wizard of Oz?" asked Paul, for he knew all of his mother's quirks.

"Smart boy!" Paul's mother grinned. "I'm trying to get a _real live_ munchkin to come speak at the county fair this year! Isn't that great?"

"Mom, this isn't South Dakota. No one will care. And besides, those munchkins are old and gross looking now. But I have something else I need to talk to you about."

"Ooh, Paulie, remember that picture I took of you and that munchkin a few years ago? The one where you're crossing your eyes and doing a peace sign? Wasn't that just adorable!"

"No. Mom, no more munchkins. Please."

"Oh, alright." Paul's mother smiled as she flipped her teased blonde hair behind her shoulder. "What's Scott done this time?"

Paul was astonished. "How did you know that this was about Scott?"

"When has it _not_ been about Scott?"

Paul smiled sheepishly. "Oh. Well, he's throwing a CATS party, and he didn't tell me until the last minute. He told his other friends first, like they're his best friends and not me. And this is all your fault!"

"My fault?" Paul's mother raised an eyebrow.

"Yes! You! Why didn't you pass down an X gene to me?"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," his mother responded sarcastically. "But seriously, little Paul, you should go to Scott's party and make up. Just like you always do."

"Aye aye, Cap'n!" What his mother said made sense to Paul. But then Paul had a horrible thought. "Oh, what will I wear?"

-X-

"Scott!" Jubilee pounded on Scott's bedroom door.

A soft "meow" was all she heard in response.

"Scott! Yo, Scooter! Open up!"

And then louder "meow!"

"SCOTT!"

Scott finally answered the door in full Munkustrap costume. Fuzzy ears, form-fitting unitard, arm and leg warmers, a tail, face paint and shoes. He was, or at least, as he was during his prepping hour of getting ready, "smokin' hot."

"What were you doing in there?" Jubilee asked as she, with one hand, pulled her hair back into two small buns so she could hide under her fuzzy cat ears.

"Practicing," Scott said, shrugging slightly. "And before you draw out the conversation another word I'll tell you, 'practicing what'. Meowing. How am I going to be a cat if I can't meow? And why didn't I think of it earlier?!"

Jubilee pushed past him and entered his room. "Jeez, Scott, don't get so worked up! I just came here to get the rest of the costumes you hid from Jamie, but now I think I need to stay for emotional support."

Scott made an "Uh!" sound, and frowned. "Because it's my first party and all? Er, I mean, because it's just one of the many, many, many parties I've held. Successfully. Without old people and death." His eyes, behind his shades, nervously darted around.

"Nooo... because you're so worried about Paul! He'll come, all right? Don't worry about it!" Jubilee collected all the costumes. She had been setting up downstairs for a while now and, as Scott had requested, everything would be ready a good hour before the party.

Scott was still far from convinced, however. "But what if he doesn't come, Jubilee? What will become of me if my best friend doesn't come to my party?"

"Um... you'll sit in a corner and cry?" This was true.

Scott seemed to have accepted that. "Okay."

"Party face," Jubilee said with a nod.

"Party face," Scott agreed, flicking his tail from behind him briskly.

The two "shook hands" like the Jellicles would, extending a "paw" and shrinking back. They giggled after they were done.

"Hehe."

"We're cool."

-X-

"Oh, what will I wear?" Paul asked himself for the umpteenth time, just so that he wouldn't forget what he was doing, digging through his closet like a crazy man.

Standing up, Paul started pacing about his room, frowning. He remembered Scott had said something about costumes... Did Paul have to bring one of his own? But what would he wear to a CATS themed party? He didn't have a cat costume! Since he was two he was always a pirate for Halloween, thus the only costumes he had were those of Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Red Beard, Cap'n Crunch, the cross dressin' pirate Annie, Blueskin, and more! Of course, there was also that one hideous lederhosen set and knee socks he wore when he was twelve to go to the Munchkin Parade in SD. He remembered now, as much as little green overalls rode up on his sensitive hienie, he made a mean munchkin.

"But I WANT to be a groovin' Jellicle cat!" Paul said, punching at the air in a "gosh darn it!" sort of fashion.

"What was that, little Paul?" Paul's mother called in from downstairs. "You know grooving sets off your asthma!"

"Never_mind_, mother!" Paul was almost desperate now; snapping at his mother like that only showed he was worried. He wanted to go make things up to Scott, but he couldn't do so not looking like a cat at his CATS party!

Paul sighed, and turned to Tinker. "Tinker, my man, wish me luck. If I don't leave right now I'll be late. And what's worse than not being a cat in spandex but not being a cat in spandex showing up late to a party?" Tinker said nothing. "I know. See ya, Tinker. I'll let you know how it all turns out."

Tinker's shiny black eyes did not follow Paul to the door of which he left hurriedly from, nor did they widen when Paul yelled to his mother to stop leaving her "unmentionables" at the foot of the steps where he could trip and land into them, which he often did.

But Tinker was there for Paul, 100 and if Paul needed to be a cat more than he needed to be with Tinker the dog, then so be it. That was just the kind of courageous, self-less, TY™ produced in China stuffed animal that Paul had won at the Oz Fest of '94. And even if his insides were slowly molding and getting all gross, Paul would still love him when he returned form the party, all smiles.

Or, at the very least, Paul's mom would come and visit Tinker and take him to her room for a little rated R movie watching, and a lot of close to the chest holding. Tinker the Toto dog knew there was no place like home, no sir!

-X-

Scott took one final run through of his deep breathing exercise before he started down the steps. His party would be starting in less than a half hour, and there was no turning back now.

CATS music boomed from the sound system downstairs. Scott took great relief in that, and felt much better now that he had something to follow along to. A copy of the list of who wore what was posted on the stair railing and Scott studied it with pride. It had taken him and Jubilee all night to decide who should be which cat. The whole time, Scott felt like he was playing God, handing out lives and fates to everyone, but in the form of colorful dance-wear, face paint and yarn tails.

Scott hit the base of the steps and turned. To his surprise, there was every one of the X-Men, dressed and ready to party. Scott could have cried.

"Ready to party, Scott?" Alex asked, extending a hand half hidden by an arm warmer. Scott reached out his hand "Jellicle Style" and nodded.

"Never felt I needed to more," Scott said and then added, addressing his brother due to his attire, "Tantomile!"

Oh, Scott thought, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, oh how I am proud of my pride right now.

Evan did a flip'o Jenkins 180 side kick with a tail ender dog eared double take to the maximum on rye dry with his skateboard. "Time to get this party started!"

Fifteen minutes passed, and still no kids from school showed up. Eventually, the inhabitants of the mansion went their separate ways, bored of Scott's party already. All had gone up to their rooms to play their own music, music that didn't involve lying on the floor in a twisted pile of bodies. Maybe they would come back down when the other guests arrived. Even Kurt and Amanda had gone upstairs, for reasons unknown.

Scott looked out the window forlornly. He was alone in the common room, except for Jubilee and Alex, who were standing on either side of him. "Where is everybody?"

"Maybe they're not coming because CATS is sorta creepy," Alex commented from Scott's right.

Jubilee brought herself up to her full height. "Don't ever say that! CATS is _not_ creepy!"

"Maybe they're not coming because _you're_ creepy!" Alex retorted.

Scott sighed and closed his eyes. Things were not going at all as planned. Alex and Jubilee hadn't stopped bickering since they had been introduced. Now with the 'CATS is creepy' comment, all hope was lost of them ever being civilized towards each other. Things were going downhill.

And what about Paul? Was he really about to throw away three years of friendship? Had Scott angered him one too many times? Scott wished he could turn back time, back to where they had first met. 'Hi, my name is Scott Summers and I'm a mutant. Would you like to be the first one invited to my party, which I am having three years from now?' is what he would say.

Scott was brought out of this state by the sound of a loud 'bamf'. He turned and saw that Kurt and Amanda had teleported back into the room. "What have you two been doing? It's 7:21! _7:21_!"

Amanda stopped adjusting her sweater and turned away, blushing deeply. Kurt shuffled his feet sheepishly. "We, ah, we lost track of time..."

And together, the five of them stared out the window, waiting for guests to arrive.

-X-

Night was falling quickly, but Rogue didn't mind. In fact, she preferred night to day. In the night, no one could see her, and she felt safe. No one could touch her.

She was at the Bayville Zoo, where she had originally planned to go that night. After Scott's party had turned out to be such a snooze-fest, she decided to sneak out of the mansion without being seen. Besides, there was no way in hell that Scott would get her into one of those spandex CATS costumes. She had better things to do. She had to sulk.

Rogue crawled through the dark tunnel leading to the prairie dog village. When she got to the end, she stood up on her knees and looked out the clear dome over her, out at the happy prairie dog family.

"It's been so long since I've been able to feel any furry animals," Rogue drawled aloud. She wiped a tear falling onto her cheek with a gloved hand. "Lookit all you," she whispered into the night. "Lookit all you there together. I wish I could be one of you. You don't have to deal with all the troubles of mutation."

She stopped talking to herself when she noticed a prairie dog, snow-white and beautiful, towards the back of the enclosure. It was an albino. "You're just like me," Rogue said quietly. "A freak like me. I'll call you Rasputin and I'll come visit you everyday to-"

But suddenly, the rodent didn't seem quite so important to her anymore. She wanted to go to Scott's party, she wanted to dance in spandex, and she wanted to sing at the same time in more than one key.

Inside his dark office, a certain bald-headed, wheelchair-bound man chuckled to himself. He pressed his fingers together and smirked. "I want to party."

-X-

"Kurt, sit still. Your freakish body is stretching out the costume." Scott was getting a little edgy, and not being too discreet about it. It was long past 7:30 and he was almost ready to throw in the tail, wash off the face paint, hang up the spandex for another, brighter day- whatever he wanted to call it. The point was, he'd been ready to leave for his room and crayons one minute past seven, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

He still had so much hope in humans, in CATS, in spandex that he couldn't dare part with it all and give up. So, instead of waiting solemnly for his guests to arrive, he was waiting angrily for his guests to be hit by speeding hotdog venders, preferably after his party.

"You know what Scott," Kurt started to say, hurt by Scott's comment. "Your bad attitude is seriously wack. It's ruining the party."

"WHAT party?" Amanda said defensively. She'd been picking at one of her costume arms for the past half hour. It now looked like her character, Electra, had mange on just her right arm. "Ew gross," she said, after realizing what she had done to her costume arm.

"Guys!" Alex said, standing up. "Don't fight! Come on, let's make his party our own!" Alex looked around and his eyes immediately fixed on a decorative table with expensive Xavier-like things spread on top. "What do you see there?" he asked Scott, and leapt over to the table.

"I see a table and stuff only Xavier would spend money on."

"No," Alex said, giddier by the minute. He knocked some of the knick-knacks off the table, causing them to smash to the floor. "What do you see now?"

"A mess!" Scott frowned at his brother. "Darn it, Alex! You scamp!"

"It's not a mess," Alex insisted, and proceeded to climb under the table. "It's the Jellicle Junkyard!"

The three mutants and Amada stared at him.

Jubilee was the first to speak. "You know, Alex, just because it worked once in an airport lobby in Full House does NOT mean it's going to work here."

"Yeah," Kurt sighed. "Sorry Alex, but they had the magic and power of Christmas on their side."

"And all we've got is a creepy musical that's like, twenty years old," Jubilee said mockingly. Alex didn't catch the sarcasm, however, and thought for a split second that Jubilee was agreeing with what he had said earlier. He really was a scamp!

Alex hung his head in shame as he crawled out from under the table, careful not to damage his costume. "I'm sorry, guys, Scott. I'll not try and lift hopes anymore."

"Thank you."

"Good."

"I should hope so."

Alex took his turn to watch forlornly out the window while Scott stood hunched over the punch table, drowning his troubles in fruity deliciousness. The others were scattered about the furniture.

Alex scanned the area outside the mansion walls and windows. Tree, tree, bird, tree, newbie, tree. All the usual, Alex noted. Then something started to come into view. Alex squinted at the window. After a moment he was positive of what he was seeing. "GUYS!"

No one looked up. They probably thought he was trying another Full House miracle on them, and didn't care to partake in it.

"Guys, I'm serious this time! Look! GUESTS!"

The got everyone's attention. Scott nearly knocked him over running to the window.

"That's everyone from school!" Scott exclaimed, shocked. "And Paul! Paul's leading the charge! Oh, go Paul, go! Go faster Paul!"

Scott smoothed his tail down and fluffed his warmers. He told Alex to help Jubilee sort out the costumes for the guests, and told Jamie to get out of the bathroom; he wasn't having "girl problems".

Scott felt the party juices bubble in his veins. He didn't know why everyone was late and finally came at the exact same time, but in all truth, he didn't much care.

"Start the DVD back at the beginning!" Scott ordered. His face was aglow with child-like joy. "Put out the milk punch! The cream! Tails secure on butts? Awright." Scott's fingers tingled as they locked tight around the door handle. "Munkustrap's ready to conduct a social gathering of the most pleasant sort. Er, I mean, PARTY. Party, yo. Dawg. G. Oh, gosh darn, I'm ready for my shindig!"

-X-

Somewhere in the heart of Bayville, Rogue raced dramatically towards the mansion. She leapt over trashcans, slid under passing trucks, cut in front of old ladies, the whole nine yards. She was itching for a fun little yarn tail to tie around her waist and she simply could not place why.

Sure, the need and call of spandex was a mighty, God-like force, but she was almost certain that wasn't what was pulling her further into the city to reach the outskirts where the mansion stood.

Her heart pounded in her chest. Almost there, she thought to herself. Almost there and TOTALLY ready.

One thought passed through her head as she reached the grounds of the Institute. "I want to party."


	5. Jeep Rides, Babysitters, and Wings: The ...

Just Another Excuse To Wear Spandex

By Scrawler and Latvian Ice

Chapter 5: Jeep Rides, Babysitters, and Wings (The End)

Note of the Authors: Yep, it's the end all right. We had a lot of fun writing this, and we hope you had fun reading it, too. We'll be starting another story sometime, probably in the summer when we are less busy. Thank you to Crimson Lipstick, Demon Rogue, life-of-lasilverwolf, Pyrotic, Ivan Alias, Lyranfan, BobbyD12, Yogie16, and those of you who read but did not review. Also, if you are fans of the story, you can get see some pretty darn nifty wallpaper from Silverwolf's deviantart gallery (silverwolfchaos). You might have to do some searching, but it's worth it 'cause the rest of her gallery is awesome, too. Okay go read.

-X-

Lance paced in circles around the Brotherhood Boarding House's living room sofa. All week he had been looking forward to crashing Scott (what was he calling himself these days? "Jockstrap"?) Summers' geeky party. He and Pietro and come up with an elaborate scheme involving tomato sauce, lipstick, and dental floss that would surely make the X-Men pee their pants in fear, but…

But maybe that's not important anymore. One cannot be bitter and spiteful all the time. One must have time for dancing to Broadway musicals as well. Surely Lance could fit both into his schedule, couldn't he?

But what would Pietro say? Actually, what _wouldn't_ Pietro say if he found out Lance wanted to make a fool of himself at some lame excuse for a party? He'd never hear the end of it. But what would be worse? Missing the party tonight or being made fun of for the rest of his life?

Lance decided. He would stay at home and miss the party. No one would ever know how badly he wanted to shake his thing on the dance floor of Xavier's mansion. There. It was decided.

He turned to Pietro, who was lounging contently on the couch. Lance opened his mouth to say how creepy Scott was with his boom box the other day, but when he opened his mouth, the words were not what he had been expecting. "I want to go to Scott's party!"

Pietro sat up, wide eyed. "Oh my _God_, me too!"

Lance was greatly surprised. Pietro hadn't seemed like he wanted to go earlier. "Really?"

"Really, really!"

Lance tried to hide his excitement. "Then we'll just… go."

"Yeah. Cool."

"I'll get Freddy and Toad."

"I'll get Wanda."

Five minutes later, Lance, Freddy, Toad, and Pietro were assembled in the living room, unhappily. Wanda was missing. The ground trembled slightly in Lance's frustration.

Freddy turned on the television. "Can't we just go without her?" he asked.

"No!" shouted Lance and Pietro in unison.

"Why not?"

"'Cause she'll miss her frog prince too much," Todd replied from Freddy's side.

"Duh, no!" Pietro slapped his palm on his forehead. "She has to come because everyone needs to see CATS!"

"Exactly!" Lance pumped his fist in the air, causing the ground to shake a little more and part of the ceiling to come crashing to the ground. "It rocks!"

As if on cue, the woman in question entered the room, sending the door crashing on its hinges. "Where's Magneto?"

The boys ignored her question as Pietro rushed to her side, literally at lightning speed. "Good God, woman, where have you been? We don't have time for this! We're going to a party!"

Wanda groaned. "I'm not going to any stupid party, especially if it's the one I think you're thinking of. Besides, I'm looking for revenge tonight. My father made me suffer, now I'm going to make him-" Wanda cut herself off with a scream as she was lifted from the ground.

"Shut up, you, you're coming with us!" Lance had her over his shoulder, walking out the front door. "To the jeep!"

"Shot gun!" called Pietro as they all ran out the door and piled into the jeep. Lance threw Wanda unceremoniously into the backseat. "Put on your seatbelts, everybody. I have a feeling I won't be following the speed limit."

The car raced into the night. Lance's normally bad driving was atrocious tonight, but all inside the vehicle had a feeling of urgency inside. They must get to the party, and fast! They did not have time to waste!

They were getting closer and closer to their destination; the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters was approaching fast. But there was something on the road, something huge. What was it? The boys squinted their eyes to get a better look. After a few seconds, it turned out to be a mob of people, with Paul in the lead. They were headed to Scott's party while singing about Old Deuteronomy.

As they saw the speeding car approaching, the mob of people moved itself off of the road. Lance slowed down and pulled up beside the people. "Run, Paul, run!"

Paul looked up at Lance. Was this the same Lance who had flushed his head down the toilet every day at exactly 9: 37 for the past four years? "Will you dance with me?" he called, hoping to make friends so that we would never have to go to his third class with wet hair again. And also because the spirit of CATS was making Paul feel very friendly and brave.

"Sure!" called Lance. "I'll see you there!" And with that, he sped up again, leaving a cloud of dust in the faces of Paul's mob. But it was a dusty cloud of friendship.

"We're gonna get there first!" Pietro cheered from the passenger seat. He threw up his hands and pretended he was on a roller coaster ride. Lance's jeep was good for that. Rusty sides and holes in the floor boards gave it that "You could die in this. But it would be a fun and gleeful death" feeling.

"What's the big deal?" Wanda snarled. She was pinned between Freddy and Todd, an excellent reason to snarl. "A cats party? We don't even own a cat. We hate cats. I'm allergic to litter; they made me eat it in the asylum."

Pietro made frustrated sissy noises. He couldn't believe how stupid his sister could be! Sure, she was locked away form humanity for half her life, but really! It wasn't as if the sweet tunes and hits of B'Way couldn't find their way into the padded rooms.

"Not 'cats' cats, 'CATS' CATS!" Pietro pulled a face. People should really know things so he didn't have to waste his breath explaining.

"Cats CATS cats?"

"CATS cats."

"Right. Cats."

"Capital letter CATS!"

Fred shook his head. "I swear we've been over this before. Well, maybe not us. Maybe someone I stalked."

"That could be anyone!" Todd exclaimed.

"Yeah, it could." Fred nodded. "But still! This is a running gag. It's sick, stop it."

"I'll stop it when I'm dead!" One of the hippies from school ran out in front of the jeep, oblivious that Fred's words had not been directly to him. The hippie stood in front of the jeep a moment, grinning as Lance tried to stop or swerve. Lance just couldn't decide which. Swerving would save time getting to the party, but stopping would be more effective. Then again, Lance didn't really care for hippies. But due to the absurdly large number of credible witnesses, he decided to at least attempt to not run over someone.

Hippie Jo, as he was known, scurried from in front of the jeep at just the last second.

"What a rush!" he squealed, and took off again to follow the rest of the students to the party. He kept an eye open for more speeding cars.

"Damn hippies," Lance muttered. The jeep had stopped by now and ceased to start up again. It just died.

"Lance, we're going to be late!" Pietro wailed. Todd, from behind Lance, kicked Lance's seat, upset about the setback to the party. Fred drowned his worries in turkey on rye.

"Let's just _walk_," Wanda griped. She lifted herself up, out of the jeep. The moment her clunky boots hit the grounds of the Xavier Institute, her body contorted. Falling to her knees and clutching her head, she could hardly withstand the mental pull someone seemed to have on her mind.

"No!" she declared, and stood up. "Let's not walk! Let's RUN!"

The Brotherhood followed her as she leapt over defense systems and cleverly hidden fake rocks with house keys hidden inside. They ran as fast as their poor, malnourished little legs would take them.

They could not, however, even catch up to Paul. The power and love of the CATS musical, and Scott, seemed to propel his body full-force into the mansion's front doors.

Red-faced and sweaty, he limply rang the doorbell. Scott had had Bobby rig it to chime "Memory".

The door opened instantly, surprising Paul greatly.

Scott stood in the doorway, dressed in a full-body costume of what Paul remembered him saying was "Munkustrap, the totally cool Jellicle leader!"

Scott brought a hand to his chest, surprised.

"Paul," he breathed out, all sexy like he'd seen on TV. Oh yeah, Scott thought, Munkustrap is in da house right her'.

-X-

Scott and Jubilee stood on top of the sofa for all to see, surrounded by boxes and boxes of CATS costumes. Scott pulled a grey and tattered costume from the box and held it up high for the students to see. "Lance Alvers, Grizabella!" He threw the costume across the room for Lance, who did not seem at all upset that he was playing a woman.

"Rock on, I'm the lead!"

Scott and Jubilee continued to hand out costumes. The students from Bayville High were lined up at the bathrooms, waiting to pull on their spandex. A few of the bolder ones were stripping down to their under garments right there in the common room and putting their outfits on, not caring what the other students saw of them.

Jubilee bent down to pick up the last costume in her box, bright orange and spiky. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? No, not uh-oh! Not uh-oh!" Scott was panicking, waving wildly in Jubilee's face. "What?"

"We never assigned a Macavity."

Scott put a hand over his mouth and gasped. "That's not good! Even though he's a major stinker of a cat, there can be no CATS without him! We need a Macavity!"

"Settle down, boy," Jubilee replied calmly. If not for her, the party would be total and complete chaos, she decided. "We'll find something."

"Like what!"

Just then, the doors of the mansion burst open, and a figure came running into the common room, laughing manically. "I am Pyro, and I am here to burn things!"

"Hey, you're not invited!" Scott shouted across the room.

Pyro made his way across the room toward Scott. "I'm not?" he asked. "Because I saw this sign, mate, and it said-"

"No! Especially if you're going to burn things!"

Jubilee pulled on Scott's ruffly sleeve. "What about him?"

"What _about _him?"

"He could be Macavity. You know spandex, one size fits all." Jubilee did not see the danger in letting an insane pyromaniac into her party. "If he behaves himself, that is."

Pyro grinned and Scott frowned. "Please?" Pyro pleaded, his eyes becoming sad and puppy-dog like under his goggles. "I can behave myself."

"Well…" Scott was giving in. After all, who could be a better Macavity than Pyro? He must think of the good of his party. "Fine. You're Macavity."

"Thank you, sweet boy," Pyro bowed and kissed Scott's hand, then Jubilee's. Jubilee giggled.

-X-

"It's time to get down with our CATS selves!" Scott shouted, jumping from the couch and onto the floor, landing on all fours like a real cat would. The party was underway. Now that the costumes had been sorted out, the teenagers were free to do as they wished. Everywhere Scott looked, someone was having a good time. He saw a large group of students, inches from the big screen, studying the movie unblinkingly. Paul and Lance were dancing to the soundtrack together, surrounded by other movers and shakers. The snack table was a hit as well, although Rogue had a hissy fit when she mistook the cat food for tuna and Logan had to make fish shaped sugar cookies instead.

-X-

Scott took a moment free from his hosting duties to join in the party.

He saw Kurt and Amanda making out on the sofa and wondered about that. Then he looked to the closest television and rolled his eyes. "A-duh! Gus is on."

His first thought was to leave those young people at it but then he saw how their face paint was being smudged just so horribly! And he had to stop the madness.

He did so and Kurt told him that if he ever interfere like that again, he'd tear a hole the size of Montana in his unitard.

Scott slid through some crowds and he found, towards the center of the party, Duncan. Dressed to his best as Griddlebone (he, like Lance, seemed to flourish in the dressing of a woman), Duncan danced and argued with his friends.

"No way, Dunc! Alonzo so wouldn't work for Macavity! He's like, frickin' second in frickin' command!" one of Duncan's minions said, outraged. It seemed the topic of Alonzo had come up more than once at the party. Bobby was very pleased and answered to the best of his knowledge anyone who came up and asked him questions.

Duncan threw his hands up. "Why else do you frickin' think he would! Like, think Battleship, man!"

Scott continued on his observation. He saw the professor testing some mad moves in his wheelchair. The Tugger costume seemed to give him strength and coolness like he'd never had before.

Scott felt like he'd just given back to the community by putting these people in spandex cat suits (because saving the town did nothing for people). And, for the professor, he felt like he had just delivered Christmas cards to nursing homes.

-X-

Lance had long since had his dance with Paul. Still, though, something made him want to dance with Paul again. Maybe it was Paul's smooth moves and light feet that brought Lance to search for more. He suddenly spotted him over by the punch table.

Lance made his way through the crowds quite easily, considering he was in high heels.

"Hey, Paul!" Lance waved him over. "What's with the tie around you're head?"

Paul frowned. He set down his glass of milky, creamy Hawaiian Punch and held his tie down on his head with both hands. "I am a Jellicle Pirate," he said defensively.

"You look like you could be working for Macavity!" Lance said with a laugh. He had no idea how much something like that could offend someone. The gasp from Paul earned him a few odd looks.

"I'm Growltiger, The Terror of the Thames! I guess I never told you before, we were too busy cutting a rug."

"We so were. So howzabout another dance?"

"Let's groove to my Italian duet!" Paul said. He searched for his song on the Broadway recording of CATS Scott had in the boom box on the snack table.

"Alright! Just don't move too fast, I'm in heels."

-X-

Jubilee drank her fourth glass of punch, and crushed the tiny paper cup a vengeance.

"Damn it, Bobby! I don't care what you heard Duncan say! Alonzo doesn't work for Macavity!"

Bobby scoffed. "Well, then, he's certainly a pirate like in Growltiger's crew."

Jubilee nearly screamed. "You do NOT know what you're talking about! The piratey crew has always been a combination of Tugger, Munkustrap, Mistoffelees and Skimbleshanks! Geez!"

"I don't care! Alonzo looks like the kind of cat to _me_ to wear a pirate hat! He even says so!" Bobby put his hands on his hips indignantly.

"No he doesn't!"

Bobby brushed some invisible dust off his shoulder. "Does so. I'm surprised

_you_ didn't catch it. You know, when he said, 'Are you cock of the walk?'"

"That's like a ROOSTER not a PIRATE!" Jubilee rolled her eyes. Duh.

"No! He walks like a pirate! Go see for yourself!" Bobby snapped at his friend.

"I know what you're talking about, Bobby. But walking like that, heck, Alonzo could just as easily have an STD!" Jubilee had certainly thought this through before.

"Cats don't get STDs! Just watch it again unless you're afraid I'm right!"

Jubilee took in a deep breath in through her darkly painted nose. "Fine, I will!" and she leaped, stalked, and walked on hands and knees to find the nearest TV showing CATS. Bobby drank more punch.

A few moments later, Jubilee returned. She looked as though she were about to apologize, but thought better of it. "Yeah, well, YOU WEAR WHITE MASCARA! NYEH NYEH!" And she ran off again to find her Mungojerrie.

-X-

"You know," began Alex, picking up a fish-shaped cookie and examining it, "this could maybe be a shark. What do you think?"

Scott's eyes didn't want to stop watching Jean and Duncan together, even though his broken heart did. He forced his head to turn towards his brother. "Huh?"

Alex held up the cookie to eye level for Scott to see. "It's a shark. And I'm going to eat him before he eats me. Did I ever tell you about the aquarium, bro?"

Scott ignored his brother's question. "Alex, could you please try to keep in character?"

"Keep in character?" questioned Alex, clearly confused. "I'm in the costume, so I'm in the character, aren't I?"

"Literally speaking, I guess. But look." Scott gestured across the room to Lance. "See him? You think he always talks about how beautiful he used to be? You think he always swings his hips like that when he walks?"

Alex squinted. "Yes."

Scott sighed. Alex must have hit his head pretty hard after the plane crash. "You know, Alex, forget it. I'm going to go see the professor, I'll talk to you later."

Alex's cookie crumbled. "But who'll talk with me about sharks?"

"Fine. Come with."

The boys found their professor, spinning around in his wheelchair on one wheel. Alex was very impressed. "Gnarly, old man, who pimped out your wheelchair?" he asked, referring to the leopard print seating and jewels encrusted into the spokes.

The professor stopped in mid spin and smiled up at the boys. "Beast did. I'm thinking of leaving it this way, what do you young men think?"

While Alex nodded enthusiastically, Scott took a moment to think. "Well, it's, ah… different," he said, then added: "The ladies will love it. And speaking of ladies and love… how do you feel about warping Jean's mind into making her believe that she loves me and that Duncan is in love with an armadillo?"

"Now Scott," the professor reproached, "although my amazing powers of the mind would allow me to do that, I would never because I have too much respect for my fellow man. I would never force a person to do anything against his or her will. Now if you'll excuse me, Logan has just finished his Gumbie Cat song, and that's where the Rum Tum Tugger comes in."

Scott looked at his brother sadly. "I guess there's no way for Jean to love me. Not even a totally sweet party or mind control. Maybe I'm destined to be a lone cat forever."

"You mean you've been trying to win Jean over all this time?" Alex asked with surprise.

"Yeah, who do you think?"

A smile crept on to Alex's face. "Well… you spend an awful lot of time looking at Paul, bro."

"I'm sad," said Scott.

-X-

The professor had tried to hide it, but he couldn't help feeling tired. Dancing all night while controlling the minds of the Bayville High students, plus his own children was quite a strain on an old man such as himself. He looked around the room. They had just gotten done re-enacting the play for the fourth time, and most of the students were sprawled out on the floor in a big pile of spandex. The punch was gone, the cookies gone, the room a mess of dirty napkins and used paper cups. There really wasn't much of a party going on anymore, anyway…

He made his way toward the elevator. "It was nice meeting you all," he called over his shoulder. "But it is far past an old man's bedtime. Goodnight!" The door opened with a click, and he rolled inside. The party was over.

Duncan Matthews struggled to sit up, trying to get away from the arms and legs pinning him down. He looked around at everyone else. Face paint and spandex? The other students looked just as confused as he felt. "What the _hell_!"

-X-

"It does look kind of like a shark…" Scott squinted and examined the cookie he had found stuck partly to his tail. "And maybe it was going to eat me…" Scott quickly tossed the cookie in a trash receptacle.

"SUMMERS!"

Scott jumped, startled. He didn't know Duncan wanted the cookie so badly!

"Duncan! Hi." Scott tried to regain his cool demeanor. He stretched out a paw for Duncan to meet with his own. In turn, Duncan, with a furious frown, grabbed Scott's arm, twisted it, and with both hands gave Scott an Indian Burn.

"Owie owie ow!" said Scott, cringing. He had no idea Griddlebone had such a strong grip.

"What are we all doing in spandex!" Duncan shouted into Scott's ear.

Scott felt as though a really fluffy cop was interrogating him. "You dressed willingly! It was consensual!"

Some of Scott's peers backed up. Duncan freed Scott's arm and looked at himself. Judged himself. Scott's words bled truth and no one could figure otherwise. Had they really dressed like they had because they wanted to?

"No," Duncan said. "I would NEVER dress like this! I've got on a pink corset for Everlast-" Duncan quickly clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Everlasting Cat!" Scott supplied. He too, was confused. "From CATS, yeah."

"CATS?" one girl asked another.

"The musical?" A boy stared heatedly at Taryn's figure. She noticed and quickly wrapped her tail about her body protectively.

"I would never dress in spandex and that's that!" Taryn scoffed. "It's just so tacky. Tacky like red hair."

The students began to argue and shout. Scott retreated to his friends and wrung his tail worriedly. "What's wrong with them? They're acting like they've never heard of CATS before- much less attend a party in its honor!"

Jubilee tore off her cat ears. "I knew it was too good to be true. Bayville sucks." She threw her ears out into the mobs of students. "UNCULTURED PIGS!"

"Jubilee," Scott hissed. "What are you doing?" He wanted to go back for the ears, but he saw Duncan's foot smash them flat onto the floor. Scott winced as if it had been a little part of him under that foot. "What do you mean it was too good to be true?"

"I mean that there's no way everyone would come to our party! Not everyone…"

Scott's face went pale and even under all the makeup, the act was visible. "Don't you dare say such a thing, Rumpelteazer! Everyone loves CATS!" He bent down on one knee and held the hand Jubilee wasn't covering her face with. "_You _taught me that."

Jubilee struggled back a sob. "I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Alex stepped beside the two. "If these people suddenly don't like CATS, well, then I hope a shark eats them."

Jubilee smiled. "You really mean that?"

"Of course I do."

Scott stood up.

"Listen up!" Scott wiped a table clean and climbed onto it and stood tall. "I don't know what's wrong with you people! CATS is great! And I know maybe you think you didn't want to, but the light in your eyes… Well, I could tell. You wanted CATS. You wanted to dance and sing. You wanted all that spandex."

The crowd of teens mumbled among themselves saying that that simply was not true.

Jean stood up and started towards Scott's table. Paul beat her there.

"This is my best friend, Paul," Scott announced and Paul tried to balance on the table.

"WHO?" someone shouted.

"WHO'S PAUL?"

Scott frowned. "THIS is Paul!"

"PAUL?"

Scott stomped his foot. "Yes! Paul! My best friend Paul came even though he was mad at me. He loves CATS."

"He loves YOU!" Pyro shouted from in back. Everyone laughed. Pyro was very popular at this party.

Paul was flustered. "NO! I love CATS! And pirates. I love both."

Jean finally managed to steal the show from her admirer and his admirer. "People! That is not what we need to discuss now! We can talk about that later, behind Paul's back! But now…" She put her hands on her hips. "It seems as though some of you don't want to be here. But think back on the night, if you remember it. You danced. You drank milky punch and you liked it. Scott was bringing you all closer to his love of spandex and of CATS. There is nothing wrong with that."

Scott smiled. 'Oh my gosh,' he thought to himself. 'Jean made a speech. For me! It's not like it doesn't happen a lot but… she did it in spandex! Yay!'

Jubilee and Alex clapped. Bobby, Kitty, and Kurt started clapping, hoping that eventually the humans would, too. The Brotherhood boys were leaning against things, not clapping nor booing. With the exception of Pietro, however, who was clapping excitedly at the swishing sound his tail made when he swayed from side to side.

Eventually Scott's friends clapping died down and Scott looked around hopelessly. His party was a bust.

Scott sighed, and stepped down from the table. Not only was his love for CATS denied by his peers, but they'd surely make fun of him for it next week.

"Well," Scott sighed. "I guess you can all leave… Just…" Scott's eyes brightened. "Just tell me one thing!" He crouched down low and then sprang up and fell into the sequence of dance moves performed in The Prologue.

"Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark? Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne?" Scott pulled Jubilee into the dance, but she simply stood there, watching hopelessly as all the party-goes left, scoffing and rolling their eyes.

Scott continued, nevertheless. "Can you say of your bite that- ow!" Someone from Scott's third period math class threw his pair of dance shoes at Scott. They hit him square in the face. "Of... of your bite…"

People began to laugh. They were laughing and walking away, simultaneously crushing Scott's "Little Trooper" spirit. "It's worse than your bark…" Scott sighed, and stopped dancing and singing.

"I'm _very_ sad," Scott said.

-X-

Soon, everyone who Scott knew totally hated him and thought he was a dork and had left the mansion. Only some of Scott's true friends stuck around. Amanda and Kurt were making out, having assured Scott that _they_ liked the party. Kurt said he especially enjoyed the refrigerator boxes used to prop up the junkyard background. He said they reminded him of his days in the circus in Germany, where he'd be locked in a box and fed nothing but disgusting pack mule feed and beaten every hour on the hour. Scott had given him a weak thumbs up. "Super tight," he had said.

Jubilee had a dozen Jamies helping her pick up all the dropped, thrown down, discarded, stepped on costume pieces. She did not look happy and made the Jamies cry.

A few students, after realizing they had physically _ran_ to the party, were waiting in small crowds for their parents to pick them up, laughing whenever Scott stopped by and offered a snack or drinks.

"No way!"

"You're gross!"

"Pssshh, what a dumb party, man. Pretty lame, like your FACE!" That one, Scott thought with a twinge of embarrassment, hurt.

Across the room Paul was rewinding all of the CATS videotapes so that Scott could watch them later from the very start, and have a good long cry all the way through.

Alex came up to Paul. "Hey, man." Alex smiled widely. He had heard a lot about this Paul guy. He was Scott's best friend, off and on, it seemed. Sometimes Scott would forget he had friends and leave Paul at the school, without a ride home. Alex leaned forward as if to tell Paul a super special secret. "You can hang with Scott if I can make out with your sister."

Paul frowned. "But I don't have a sister." And he almost always hung with Scott. Alex is so weird, he thought.

"Then who's that?" Alex pointed to a blonde-haired woman sporting a lime green 'Soccer Mom!' sweater that she had taken to with those big, honkin', "safety" scissors. It was cropped above her stomach, hung off one shoulder and tied with a piece of rainbow jump rope at the other shoulder.

Paul's eyes went wide. "MOM?" But... she only wore _that_ when she protested with the tree huggers!

Alex grinned. "Hey, just so long as she isn't your sister."

-X-

Paul found Scott picking at his costume forlornly. He watched the last of CATS playing on a portable TV on the floor.

Paul put a little jump in his step as he heard his mother yelling for him to hurry up, that she needed to be home in five to watch her late night soaps.

"Hey Scott," Paul said,

"Hey, Paul."

And then there was such an awkward silence between the two, that both felt compelled to break it.

"Paul, I-"

"Scott you-"

The two laughed and then were silent once again.

"You were cool back there. On that table," Paul spoke up. He nodded, remembering. "And no matter what anyone says, your party was super cool and hella tight. And I mean that."

"Thanks, G." Scott smiled sadly. No matter how good it felt to rekindle with Paul once again, the pain and angst that came with almost an entire school's hate for spandex was, as expected, a little much for Scott. He couldn't even work a purr to show he was pleased that Paul had forgiven him.

Paul's smile faded a little. "No, Scott, it's 'Paul'. I'm Paul. Not …G."

Scott had an epiphany… he didn't have to use cool words around Paul! Not that Paul wasn't cool (he wasn't), but because Scott and Paul were equals!

Scott simply forgot how to say so, though.

Instead… "Sorry, I have to go wash this make-up off. If it stays on too long, your skin peals off and it's really gross." Scott slumped off to find a bathroom.

-X-

Scott had spent the rest of the weekend in that bathroom eating meals of toothpaste and retainer goo. The professor had said that Scott needed a little time alone and that the bathroom did him some good.

Unfortunately for Scott, he was still bound by law to go to school. And as soon as Monday rolled around, Logan sliced through the bathroom door and dragged Scott off the toilet, force fed him some bacon, packed him a little lunch and booted him out.

"Until moping around in a bathroom can get you a decent job, go to school!" Logan had said as he shook his fist at Scott, edging him closer to his chipper red car. Logan set the car on auto drive and didn't even bother to watch it roll off.

Poor Scott.

"Poor me," Scott said to himself as he pulled into the school's parking lot. He watched as some pre-paid lunch kid was pushed into some bushes but did nothing about it. After failing himself at his party, Scott was sure he could never again help someone else.

"Hey… hey can you get me out of here? There's a really sharp stick and it's in a really uncool place…"

"No," Scott shook his head and kept on walking. "I can't help. Sorry."

"But! It hurts…!" The student tried to move but was hopelessly stuck.

"Pish posh, pre-paid Stan!" Scott scoffed as he opened the big double doors of Bayville High. "You don't know pain."

-X-

Scott entered the main hall of the school expecting a bucket full of taunts and insults. And, after everyone looked up from the books they held, that's just what Scott got.

Duncan led the charge.

"Ha ha! Look everyone! It's the CATS freak! Ha ha!"

Scott put on his 'I'm strong, I can do this! I am strong like the Cherokee! Like the German!' face and walked past Duncan.

"Awwww," Duncan continued to taunt Scott. "Are you gonna cry? Is little Jellicle gonna cry? You little kitten Jellicle? Cry little baby, cry!"

Scott did want to cry. The catcalls and meows Duncan was trying to perform were

so horrible, so under practiced, that he felt so embarrassed _for_ CATS itself.

"Like the Cherokee," he reminded himself. "And like the Jellicles!"

Scott stopped at his locker. Nothing, to his immense relief, seemed to be wrong with it. No mean words written across it, no worms tied to the lock, not even a dozen more sticky notes with all of the athletics boys' phone numbers on it. It looked, of all things, peaceful and safe.

That was, of course, until Scott opened it.

Fresh Step Kitty Litter spilled out of his locker and onto the floor and into his shoes. His peers were howling with laughter.

"Ugh!" he kicked at the litter. Composing himself once more, he simply shook the books in his locker off, trying to free the fresh smelling little specks from between the pages of his history book.

While shaking out another book, chemistry, Scott looked up and noticed not a soul was laughing anymore. Everyone was deeply engaged in the chapter books they held. Scott squinted closely at the one Duncan held.

He gasped. Baby-Sitters Club.

"Wha?"

A hand gripped his shoulder and a laugh bellowed into his ears.

"After your lame-ass party Saturday, we went over to Taryn's house and had a BSC party" Duncan said wickedly. "I'm already on, like, the fifth book. Let's see you and you're dumb CATS and spandex beat _that_!"

And before Scott could compose a list of the many winning aspects of CATS, Duncan took off down the hall, probably looking to score a kiss with Jean or some Huffery Snuffery. Either way, Scott wished it were him doing so, and not Duncan.

Scott swept the remains of the litter off his pants and inspected his locker.

"Okay, everyone, very funny. Where's my CATS program? Come on, where is it? I bought that off Ebay from someone who actually got to go. Where is it!"

A few eyes searched the hall for Duncan. With sly smiles, his peers shrugged.

"Try the locker below you," a girl piped up. She shuffled with her BSC book, BSC 129: Kristy at Bat. Scott watched in awe as she tucked her CATS bookmark deep within the book.

His mouth formed a perfect little "o" of astonishment. Everyone in the hall was tucking bookmarks fashioned with the CATS eyes logo, or a particular favorite CATS character into their books. Some were even hand crafted with crayons and markers, which made Scott's heart soar.

After retrieving his CATS program from the locker below him, Scott flashed the kids in the hall a great big smile and walked off to class.

He sat down in history and prepared to learn. He scanned the room and saw even more CATS bookmarks inside BSC books. Leaning back in his seat, Scott smiled as he thought that maybe there is hope for mankind after all.

-X-

"So…" said Scott, shuffling his feet, hands in pockets.

"Yep," replied Alex, kicking at the ground.

Scott, Alex, Jubilee, and their chauffeur Ororo were at the airport. It was one week after Alex's arrival, and time to go back home to Hawaii. The goodbyes were not easy.

"Well, uh, thanks for all the help guys," Scott said, stalling. "I couldn't have had the party without you. And I'm sorry for being such a bossyboots about it."

"Eh, that's cool, man." Alex put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "It worked out in the end, sorta."

Scott had told all of his friends at the institute about how everyone at school was secretly a CATS fanatic. Sure, the original plan was for his fellow students to love CATS _openl_y,but so what? Baby steps, thought Scott. Baby steps.

"Hey, what about Jean?" asked Jubilee. "Did you make her your woman?"

Scott shrugged. "I don't really know. But I've got you guys, and I've got Paul, and most importantly, I've got CATS. That's all I really need to be happy. Jean will be just an added bonus. But for now, I'm happy with my life just the way it is."

The airplane was about to take off. "Come, Alex," said Ororo, picking up a suitcase. "I'll help you with your things." And, being the motherly figure to the X-Men that she is, she began describing the things she had packed for Alex to keep him entertained. "I've packed you some snacks and juice and puzzles and-"

"Storm, is your hair white because you're old?" interrupted Alex.

Ororo had had about enough of Alex. "Come, Alex, let's just get on you on your plane." She took him by the wrist and pulled him toward the entrance.

"Wait!" called Jubilee, pulling a package out of her purse. "I got you a present."

Alex was shocked. "How did you know it was my birthday?"

"Um… I didn't. Happy birthday then."

"It's not my birthday."

"Okay…" Jubilee paused. "Just open it, will you?"

Alex tore through the paper like a starving hyena on a zebra carcass. Bits of it fell on the ground.

"Gosh darn litterer!" exclaimed Scott. "Hawaiians the neatest people on earth my _tail!_"

But Alex was not listening. He had finished opening his present and was staring, eyes gleaming with awe, at what he now held in his hands. "CATS on DVD! Ultimate Edition!" He pulled Jubilee into a hug. Scott joined in, too, because he liked hugs. And so did Ororo, because Scott made her.

-X-

Alex liked airplanes. He liked them a lot. He liked that they were kind of shaped like sharks, but were not really sharks, and could beat a shark in a fight if the situation ever came up. Alex liked even more that he had a window seat. He turned to the man seated beside him, who was dressed in a suit and tie, reading glasses on his nose. "Before we take off, I'm going to go see the pilot. He's going to give me wings. Then I'll be able to fly airplanes and fight sharks. Do you want to come be a pilot, too?"

The man shook his head and pulled himself farther into the chair so that Alex could get into the aisle and on his way to see the pilot about a shiny pair of wings.

Once there, Alex found the pilot in his seat and drinking a cup of coffee. "I like your mustache," Alex told him. "Can I have some wings?"

The pilot grinned from ear to ear. He smoothed his graying mustache with his forefinger. "So, you'd like some wings, eh? What makes you think you deserve 'em?" he kidded.

"Because I've got Ultimate Edition CATS on DVD!" Alex had brought the DVD with him, and was now waving it in the pilot's face.

If possible, the pilot's smile grew even wider. "Say there, that's a pretty darn good reason. Mind if I borrow it? Just for the flight, I mean."

Alex thought a minute. It really was no good to him now, as he had no DVD player to watch it on. "Sure, dude. As long as I get it back."

The pilot agreed, gave away not one, but _two_ pair of wings, and sent Alex back to his seat. Alex gave his extra wings to his new airplane partner, the man seated beside him, whose name happened to be Dave.

After the stewardess announced the seatbelt rules and other things, the plane took off. A few minutes later, the pilot's voice was heard over the intercom. "Don't worry folks, no emergency or anything, but I'd just like to announce that instead of our scheduled movie, _Jurassic Park_, there's been a change of plans. We will be viewing CATS multiple times until we land."

Alex whooped in his seat. He turned to his buddy Dave. "I brought this movie," he said. "Have you ever seen it?" Suddenly, he had an amazing idea. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up for all the passengers to see. "I know! Let's have a CATS party! I'll be Coricopat and Dave will be Tantomile!"

Dave rubbed his eyes. This would be a very long flight.


End file.
